Modest Absolution - Book 5 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 15 - The devil, it sleeps in your head

Louis sat back, arms behind his head and his fingers grazing lightly against the soft wool of Harry's green beanie. He let out a long sigh as he looked at Niall with only understanding. Though he did not understand what would possess anyone to get close, let alone sleep with Dakota. He did understand how it felt when you fell for someone without rhyme or reason. In many ways that was what Ava was to him, a strange infatuation. Or perhaps she was always just some form of glue, temporarily holding his heart together.

Harry was the only fix, his only cure. Always.

Niall was staring at his hands, he wasn't crying anymore and Louis was glad. He hated seeing his friend so hurt, so empty. Niall was always uplifted and strong, throughout all of Harry's addiction and break-up with Louis, well, Niall was the pillar of strength. It was a little shocking to see Niall so rundown, especially at the hands of Dakota.

Louis lifted his legs up and crossed them under his body as he turned to Niall, he frowned as he tried to find the right thing to say. Then he took each of Niall's ice cold hands in his own and squeezed them tightly.

"I am here for you," he began, wincing at just how cliche it sounded.

Niall nodded, "I know," he replied, sounding dejected.

"I know it's your choice, who you love and who you hate but can I say something?" Louis asked. Niall didn't look at him so Louis squeezed his hands tighter, "This time you can't judge me."

Niall laughed, his shoulders gently shook. "You know," he smirked. "If you tell me you hate Dakota, that is old news."

Louis smiled, "Well, yes. I hate her."

"Some things don't change."

"I think she's the spawn of Satan himself," Louis said, he wasn't joking now as his face was serious. Louis was trying to figure out how he could spin this, how he could keep Niall away from her. Though Niall was hurt by her behaviour, Louis could see in his face that the first chance he got he would talk to her. If she opened her mouth, somehow she would make him forgive her.

That's what love does, it makes you blind and it makes you stupid. Niall didn't love her, he couldn't. Could he?

Louis couldn't imagine anything worse, yet again, he signed his heart away the moment he bumped into the smiling brunette with the ringlets bouncing around his dimpled face. He smiled, momentarily lost in thought of Harry.

"Niall," Louis cleared his throat. "She was using you."

"What?" Niall said, face stone cold and body still.

Louis hated lying, but he had to. For Niall's sake, right? "She told Harry, she told him she was just trying to make Porter jealous."

"She told me she didn't love him and -"

Louis winced, "I know, buddy, I know."

"She told me she loved me, she opened up, she kissed me and-" Niall dropped Louis hands and stood up, he walked to the window as his shoulders rose and fell with his ragged breath. Niall shook his head, resting his forehead against the cool glass as he stared out at the blank, black nothingness that stretched out all around them. "I know she's a bitch but-"

Louis stood up, "That's the thing, that's what people like her do."

"She's changed." He said and he believed it too. Believed her lies.

"Someone like her, they, never change," Louis sucked in a deep breath. He let go of thoughts of Harry, knowing Harry would kill him for saying any of this. He let it all go and focused on saving Niall's sanity and heart. "You're looking for reasons to forgive her, I don't think you can ever, truly forgive someone like her."