Modest Absolution - Book 5 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 28 - Time may change me, but I can't trace time

‘Begin Again’ – Rachel Platten (Pretty Little Liars S05-E05)

‘Changes’ – Butterfly Boucher

Time may change me, but I can’t trace time

In her jolt awake the coffee flew out of her hands spilling down her legs, with heart racing and head thumping she watched as the paper cup rolled onto the carpet. Hands trembling she leant forward, struggling to keep her composure, and picked up the plastic cup. Turning it in her hands she sucked in three controlled breaths, stay calm, stay calm. Dakota placed that cup, for the third time, though it seemed like an eternity back on the windowsill.

The air was hot, filled with condensation and she felt the familiar beads of sweat at her hairline and dripping down the back of her neck. Dakota wanted desperately to make sense of this impossible nightmare but, how?

 She focused on the diamond patterns in the carpet, the green and blue lines that transcended into yellow squares. How is this happening?

Her heart was running a trillion miles an hour, it took her breath away, but she refused to look up. She refused to meet Louis smug expression or the worry in Porter’s eyes. He’s alive, he’s here and that’s all that mattered. Dakota couldn’t bring herself to see the corners of Liam’s eyes wrinkle in confusion, his confused whispers to Jennifer. Then there was Jennifer, who would no doubt, be trying her hardest to heave herself off her seat and come to Dakota’s aid. Most of all, she refused to see the indecision in Niall’s eyes as he toyed with how he was going to hurt her. 

Because at this point she knew, without a doubt in her mind that he would hurt her.

Over and over again, it was endless. 

It was hopeless. No, you can do this… can’t you? 

Dakota slumped against the window, the glass was hot against her skin. She didn’t bother looking out at the small people working hurriedly on the tarmac. Under the hot sun, shovelling bags from the jet and talking loudly to one another, hardly noticing the blazing heat. 

This was some fucked up déjà vu with a hint of the ghost whisperer, whether her drink was laced with acid or she really was dead… she had to make this right. The notion of her being dead rattled her to the core, if she was dead it meant she’d never be able to make things right with Niall. It meant, to her horror, Liam, in whatever universe he was in would never meet his son. Never hold Jennifer in his arms again. It would mean Zayn died for nothing and had to watch his best friend die too.

Louis, she glanced up and he was watching her with a careful expression from his position against the wall. Bang. She recalled the crack of the gunshot with chilling detail and stifled a whimper, hand flying to cover her mouth. If she really was dead and gone, it meant Harry would have to face a lifetime without Louis. It was an impossible notion she would do anything to ensure didn’t come true. 

Dakota wasn’t a superstitious person, far from it. Nor was she religious, now she wondered if this was hell? It sure wasn’t heaven. 

When she buried her sister a year ago the last thing she expected was a visit from beyond the grave, or whatever this was. A visit from Daisy, her beautiful twin, looking like she did before she was sick. Her hair was in loose curls, the ends dipped in hot pink, just like it was before Dakota went off the deep end. Daisy’s eyes were wide and bright with hope and life, Dakota wanted to cherish the beautiful memory forever. Well, if she still had a forever to look forward to.

For a moment she closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing, Daisy with open arms and smelling of lemongrass moisturiser as she wrapped her arms tightly around her twin. Dakota didn’t expect any of this. Now as she stared with wide eyes over her shoulder, out the window of the far too familiar airport, she knew… this is it.