Modest Absolution - Book 5 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 27 - Apologise, no it won't make it better

Apologise, no it won’t make it better

Dakota turned around, sweat beaded on her brow and her body shaking so badly she wondered if there was a sudden earthquake. Then she saw him and she froze. 

She opened her mouth to scream, his hand covered her lips and he smiled. “Hey,” Logan whispered, “Don’t be scared.”

She shook, trying to fight him off and her entire body shuddered, “You’re dead and–“

“You’re dreaming,” he corrected her, his tone cool and his smile soft. 

As her jaw dropped, she found there were no words to utter and no sound to scream in horror. There, before her beneath the stale light of the bathroom as heat lingered in the air and her mind inexplicably exploded was Logan.

He leant casually against the basin, ignoring the hammering of Harry and Jennifer against the bathroom door. A coy smile on his face, his skin was clear and his eyes bright with a world of knowledge she couldn’t begin to understand. She wanted to run or scream or breakdown but she was frozen in place–feet glued to the sticky, tiled floor. 

“This isn’t happening, this can’t be happening,” she griped handfuls of her hair yanking at the scalp, “Wake up, wake up.” She shook her head, Dakota continued squeezing her eyes shut and mumbling to herself desperate to wake up from this horrible nightmare. “Go away, go away.”

“Sweetie,” Logan cooed, effortlessly. 

She shook her head, “No, no, no, no,” her lips trembled, “no!”

“Yes,” Logan’s hand ran down her arm. 

An explosion of goosebumps erupted from his touch and a shiver, cold as ice shot up her spine like a lightning bolt. “Logan, you’re dead I can’t see you–“

“Hey,” another voice whispered close to her ear. 

Dakota screamed, for real this time she opened her eyes wide to stare back not at her reflection but at her twin sister. Daisy’s hair was short, a tight angled bob that just touched her collarbones but it was the same chocolate brown. Her eyes twinkled with a smile, her hand resting on her sisters shoulder and she craned her neck, revealing the same birthmark on her neck. 

“No,” Dakota shrieked stepping back in wild horror. “You’re dead you’re both–“

“You’re dreaming,” Daisy whispered. She smiled up at Logan, as if they were both in on some unknown joke and Dakota just watched them as the tears rolled from her face.

Logan pulled out a small square of dirty pink satin, he rubbed it between his forefinger and thumb with a lazy smile. “Thanks for this, by the way.”

“I–“ Dakota spluttered. In his hands, as real as anything was the piece of Daisy’s blanket that Dakota had given to Niall, who had given it to Logan when they visited the Morgue. Now he was holding it and it was inches from her face. She screamed again, banging on the bathroom door, “Let me out, please let me out!”

“Honey,” Daisy touched her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze, “Don’t be frightened.”

“Frightened!” Dakota whirled around in horror, “You’re both dead and you’re standing here talking to me, all casual as if we just met up for lunch.” Her face was flushed red and she was gasping for breath as she rambled, shaking her head over and over. “You’re dead Daisy, I saw your body, I kissed you goodbye, I fucking buried you!”

“Yes–“

“No, no yes!” Dakota screamed, “I have lost my mind…” then she froze, eyes widened as if they were to burst from her skull. No, this is impossible I can’t be– “I’m dead aren’t I?” She gasped, a shaking hand raised to her dropped jaw in complete horror. 

“No,” her two ghostly companions replied in unison.

“Those guys, they shot me, they shot Zayn and now–“

“No,” Logan said stepping closer, his big eyes scanned her face. He was so soft and beautiful and she wished she could pull him into his arms and tell him how sorry she was, how sorry they all were to have lost him. 

She simply stared in awe and horror that someone she hadn’t realised she loved was gone, he was here in the flesh and for a moment she forgot her terror and pulled him into her arms. He smelt like cinnamon and coffee grounds, he felt so real and warm. Logan let out a loud ‘oomph’ and then laughed when she buried her face in his chest and held him close. She breathed him in, she buried her face in his chest and trembled as she held him. The how and why were for later, in that moment she found home. In his arms she found solace and her broken heart momentarily paused, the cracks still running up her heart ready to shatter but he held her in place. He held her so tightly as if she were made of crystal and stroked her hair, he planted a gentle kiss on her head and let out a long sigh. 

She opened one eye, surprised to find him still looking at her, “You’re here, aren’t you?”

He chuckled, “to you I am, for a moment. Yes.” 

She shook her head, “I’m so sorry, for–“

He stiffened, “No, you did nothing. I made the choice, I cracked the gun, I said goodbye.”

She cried, “But Harry–“

“Is with Louis, he will mend just like you did after Daisy, after–“

She stiffened, “Don’t say his name, don’t you dare.”

Daisy hiccupped, “He misses you, you know.”

“Stop it,” Dakota turned to Daisy, “Don’t you dare say his name.” It wasn’t Blake, it was someone more special, someone she loved and lost painfully, years ago.

“He loves you,” Daisy whispered. 

“Stop!”

“When will you ever stop blaming yourself?” Daisy sighed, she stepped closer and ran her hand over Dakota’s hair. “You–“

“When I’m dead and all my mistakes are buried with me,” Dakota snapped. 

“He’s always with you,” Daisy muttered, pulling her twin sister in for a hug. It was tight and it was perfect, it made Dakota whole again. Finally realising how much she truly missed her sister. “We all are.”

That comment snapped her swiftly back into reality, “How is any of this–“

“We came to warn you,” Logan said. He was fumbling with the piece of satin between his fingers and blew his blonde fringe from his eyes. “About…”

She saw a flash, the crack of the gun and then Porter lying covered in blood and she almost fainted at the memory. The images whirled through her mind rendering her a sobbing mess and she began to scream. “Stop!”

The images disappeared.

“Don’t go to the resort, don’t let the vans drive on that road,” Daisy whispered. “We don’t have much time…”

“But–“

“You have to stop it!” Logan whispered kissing her forehead. 

“No,” Dakota lunged forward, “Wait!”

Daisy stood at the door, hand on the silver handle and looked over her shoulder with a sad smile. “Love you Kota, always and forever.”

“Daisy!” Dakota screamed.

Then she jolted upright, sun blazing down on her through the windows of the stuffy airport. In her jolt upright she spilt the hot coffee all over her lap, Harry looked over from his conversation with Louis. Tears streamed down her face and there was Porter sitting with Zayn, Niall hiding behind them and Louis, smirking.

Again.

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A/N Theories?