Help me (a danisnotonfire fan fic) (**DISCONTINUED**)

Chapter 4

I went to my room and just sat. My head hurt. I had to make dinner with a headache and being dizzy. It was quite challenging, but it would be worse if I didn't. I sat on my bed. I cried hard. Much harder than I wished. I can count the times I've cried on my fingers. I reached under my pillow for a razor. I brought it to my wrist and pushed it on my skin. I tugged back and watched the blood. I cried because it doesn't her emotionally anymore. I have lost my soul. No. I care that I don feel the pain of having this life. My soul is not completely gone. I rested the blade down and tried not to get too much blood on my bracelet stacks, as thy were what hid my sins written and carved into my skin. I cried and reached under my bed for my Winnie the Poo Bear doll. It was old timey with honey colored fur. I cried into it. Yes I am aware that it looks like I'm copying dan. I'm not. I've had a connection with Winnie the Poo ever since I was jut born. My last memory of my mom was of her giving me this Poo Bear toy while reading me one of his adventures. I cried and sobbed into my bear. "...I'm bleeding out... I'll bleed out for you..." I sang softly to my Poo Bear. Tears dropped onto his head and started making it wet. I remember my favorite imagine dragons song bleeding out and hum the tune. It calms me down. I hide my blade after wiping it. I go to clean my arm and put a solution to help it heal a little quicker. I hide my lies and regrets with my bracelets and walk back to my room. I remember when my dad tried to take my Poo Bear. I had ran at him with scissors and nearly stabbed him. He learned not to go near my Bear or I would kill him. And I wouldn't hesitate. It's the last thing from my mom. I sing more of Bleeding Out and fall asleep.

I wake up to my internal clock and I get dressed. I throw on a long beige tunic tank top, my leather jacket, I slept in my bracelets, my dark skinnies, and my red hightop converse. I put on my signature dark eyeliner and mascara with a light red lip tint. I dip died my hair red without making much noise as i couldn't afford to wake my dad. I walked out with my stuff and went straight to school. I started watching Dan on YouTube. I laughed at him and smiled hard at his face. His perfect smile with his heavenly smile. So I might have fancied Dan a little. But who didnt? zach walked up to me and I closed down my laptop. "Hey max?" he asked. "Yeah?" I asked curiously. "A mate of mine is coming over to mine on Friday. I would like you to meet him. I think you would get along. Can you come?" here's where my dad has reason. It's not out of consideration but whatever. He always watches movies on Fridays and Saturdays. (By movie I mean the kind that are very very explicit and have "adult situations". Like very adult if you know what I mean) so I have extended curfew till 10:30. Which is nice. "Yeah i can, actually. Are any of the band mates coming round?" I informed. "I think Ezra but no one else can make it" he told me smiling.

"So when should I come round yours?"

"Friday after school. Does that work?"

"Yep. So see ya Friday, then?"

"Yeah. See ya." he said with a wave.