My Not So Perfect Teenage Life

Chapter 33

I walked into the hall to see rows of chairs lined up, at the front were my family and friends and at the very front of the hall was a stage with a black coffin in the middle and two big pictures of Kyle on either side. He looked so care-free and happy that it was hard to believe that this was his funeral I was attending, he deserved to be alive. He was only young, he had his future ahead of him, university, a family, kid’s and in an instant he had all that ripped away from him, just because of a jealous ex. Everybody in the room was crying into tissues and the atmosphere in the air suffocated me. I made my way over to one out of two unoccupied chairs next to Nick and sat down. He pulled my hand into his lap and held it there. Some dude was up on the stage saying some prayers but I wasn’t paying much attention. I was too busy thinking about how if I had never met Caleb then I wouldn’t have p*ssed off Lia and Kyle would still be alive. But then if I didn’t know Caleb and Lia that means I would have never met Jay. Was erasing Jay from my life worth it if it meant Kyle would live? I thought about it and I realised no matter how much I loved Kyle, Jay was an important part of my life now and I don’t know what I’d do without him. I heard the door open in the middle of the ceremony and all heads, including mine, turned to see who had disrupted the funeral. Jay came in and I saw a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“Sorry..sorry.” He grunted.

He was wearing a suit and he had the ‘just got outta bed’ hair and he was breathing heavily like he had been running (not having sex like most of you dirty minded people might be thinking.) His eyes scanned the room until they locked onto mine. Jay made his way over to me and sat on the empty seat next to me.

“Hey.” Jay whispered.

“Hiya. What are you doing here?”

“I came for you. I wanted to give you some support today and show my respects.”

“Thank you.” I smiled at him and squeezed his thigh with my free hand.

Somehow I felt calm and felt a little better with Jay by my side. It was as if he was in a bubble and when he was near he pulled me into the bubble with him and everything seemed better. Apparently it was time to make speeches now and Nick nudged me with his elbow and motioned with his eyes towards the stage. I got up and as soon as I was apart from Jay I felt sick in the pit of my stomach and I felt nervous. I got up onto the stage and looked at all the people before me. I let out a small cough and a shaky breath. I didn’t like being looked at by all these people. I met Jay’s green eyes and all of a sudden all those negative feelings vanished.

“Well I didn’t really plan a speech so I’m just gonna wing it.” I gave a lifeless chuckle. “I remember the first time I saw Kyle, I thought he was the handsomest guy in the whole world. I was eleven years old, and on the first day of year seven I fell in love with him. Only recently I got to know him better, and I loved him for not only how beautiful he was on the outside, but the inside as well. He made mistakes and he wasn’t perfect, but he was pretty damn close to it. Kyle didn’t deserve this. When I held him in my a-”

I abruptly stopped, thinking of Kyle’s pale, lifeless body. There was a lump in my throat and I bit my lip to stop from crying, I couldn’t take it. All the emotions from the night of Kyle’s death rushed back and I let out a strangled sob before I burst into tears. I fell to the floor bawling, I put my head into my hands and my whole body was shaking. Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around me.

Jay’s POV

I didn’t plan on coming to Kyle’s funeral, but I didn’t want to leave Nicole to face it on her own. I was still one of her best friend’s, even if that was all, so I needed to be there. Of course when she stood on the stage talking about how much she loved Kyle it hurt me. What was wrong with me? I knew her heart belonged to someone yet I still pined after her. She made me feel stuff nobody else did and had a bigger effect on me than everybody else. The first time I saw I felt something indescribable. I watched from afar as she swam and I could see how beautiful her hazel eyes were as they glistened in the moonlight. I wanted her, more than I had ever wanted and it was stupid because I didn’t even know her name. But of course Caleb had to take her from me. Snapping out of my thoughts I watched as she broke down in tears. I didn’t plan to run onto the stage but it just happened. It was hell to watch her upset and to know that I wouldn’t be able to take the pain away was killing me inside. The only person that would be able to make her happy again was dead.