My Not So Perfect Teenage Life

Chapter 30

An uneasy feeling developed in my stomach as Caleb shut the door to his bedroom. 

"What's up sexy?" He asked.

"What's up? What's up is the fact that I just saw you snorting Cocaine up your nose. What the hell Caleb?" I snapped.

His hands were in his pocket and he looked at the floor. 

"I'm sorry baby. This was the first time I've taken drugs in a long time I promise you. The only reason I took it this time was because well I felt really down about that kiss. I know I said it didn't matter to me but honestly it did. It made me feel useless and I felt down. I didn't want to ruin your birthday princess so I thought taking Cocaine would make me feel happy so you would have a great day." Caleb explained. "It's all for you. Everything I do is for you Nicole. I swear to you I won't do it."

I felt guilty now. The kiss affected him more then he let on and I was being selfish. He was my boyfriend we had to talk and work things out.

"Oh well baby you don't need to do that. I'm sorry I was so selfish, it's not your fault. I understand why you did it now." I said, but even as I said it I didn't believe what I was saying. I just wanted to please him.

"Yeah but if you don't wanna be with me I guess that's ok. I mean y-" 

"No. No. I do want to be with you. Your the best thing about me." I cut him off.

"Prove it." He whispered.

"What? We love each other don't we?" He pointed out.

I know I had been thinking about it but now it felt different. Like we weren't in love if we didn't have sex. But I still found myself saying 'okay.' He kissed me forcefully and pushed me onto the bed. He grabbed my thigh and started to pull the straps of my dress down. He reeked of alcohol and his kisses where sloppy. This didn't feel right and I didn't like it. I was practically being forced into this. I pushed him away. 

"No no. Stop. I don't want to do this now." I blurted.

He looked at me and now his blue eyes were hard and cold. 

"You think your so special don't you. You think you've got me wrapped around your little finger. I don't like being teased. You walk in here with that short dress looking like a slut and you make me want you." He spat. "Well you said okay so we are doing this."

Where was the Caleb I knew? The soft Caleb, the one I watched the sunrise with.

He pulled me by my hair and pushed me against the wall so hard my head banged against it. I touched my head and looked at my hands. Blood. 

"Let go of me. Please." I begged. "Caleb it's me, Nicky, your girlfriend. I love you just please I don't want to do this." 

"Shut up." He snapped.

He kissed my neck and I felt squirmy under his touch. I tried to wriggle out but his hold on me was to hard. He ripped my dress off me and I stood in only a bra and knickers whilst he put his hands on me.

"STOP SOMEBODY HELP ME!" I screamed.

But nobody could hear me from the loudness of the music. He kissed my lips not to shut me up and I couldn't breathe. His hands touched me, all over my body and I felt weak, pinned up against a wall. I chose the wrong guy. Kyle would never do this to me. Kyle was good and pure. I couldn't talk and shiver's crawled up my spine as I realised I was about to be raped. He pulled one bra strap off as I continued to struggle. Tears blurred my vision and I felt the saltiness of the tears as they ran down my face. His hands had scratched my skin and my body was stinging and my head felt sore. Suddenly I felt free. The hold on me was released.