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HANAE POV
The intensity of the moment couldn't be described with words. At that moment my mind had turned blank, soul leaving my body and standing on the outside as it watched the moment unfold itself. The soft touch of his lips upon mine had brought back memories, filling my body with the long gone butterflies, wildly flying within as the movement of our lips simply locked –– as if they were made for one another. I would be lying to myself if I said that I hadn't missed this feeling, knowing that someone who cared for me was still fighting for something that should've been gone all those months ago.
I could feel his thumb caressing the surface of my chin, stroking away the escaped tears from earlier. How could I truly keep lying to myself, knowing that the boy sitting before me had been the one who owned my heart? Even after everything that had happened. It took every force in my body to unlock our lips, pressing them together as I pulled back from him and tucking some fallen hair behind my ear. "Why are you doing this to me?" My voice could barely be audible, a mere whisper escaping my lips as tear filled eyes gazed into chocolate brown ones. He sighed, his thumb resting against his bottom lip before he turned to look at me. "Because I'm in love with you. And when you love someone that much, you do anything to fight for that love . . . even if it takes time." I looked down at my lap, hearing the dreaming sounds from Jennah in the stroller. She was yet to wake up, causing me to take a shaking breath and looking back at the ocean.
"I'd be lying if I said I didn't love you." And it would be, because deep down I knew there was still unfinished business to attend and wounds to heal. Joel had been the person in my life I'd cared about the most before the birth of my princess, the boy I gave my everything to. Feelings like that didn't just disappear over a year –– frankly, they stayed with you for a lifetime. "But you're afraid I'm going to hurt you again." I heard him reply, taking in a breath as he rested his arm upon his knees and looked at the vintage rings on his fingers.
"You really hurt me, Joel. What you did back then . . . it might not seem like a big thing to you, but it broke me to pieces. It made me think that maybe I did something wrong and that you were just trying to find an excuse to leave me. I really thought things were good between us, which made me more confused as to why you broke things off." I found the courage in me to look at him, a broken look upon my features causing his to soften.
"I don't want to get my hopes up, only for them to be torn down again." I noticed how he moved closer to me, taking both of my hands in his and looking directly into my eyes –– feeling as the world was about to stop right before us. "I know that it'll take time to gain your trust and that I screwed up really bad, but I promise that I'm not going to hurt you again. I mean . . . I wouldn't just be hurting you, but myself and Jennah too. I just want us to be a family . . . a happy one."
Taking a look into myself, I could remember how we both spoke about our future together and how our possibly family would look like. Now that it had happened earlier, I knew within myself that I couldn't take this away from him. Or from myself, for that matter. Because believe it or not . . . I wanted the same thing as Joel did. I wanted us to be together, I wanted us both to raise our daughter in a safe environment. And though I knew his job took most of his time away from us, it still wouldn't take away his fatherhood. Swallowing my pride and looking into the eyes I'd fallen in love with, I found myself nodding at his words. The change of expression made my stomach do a flip, noticing how the brims of his eyes were filled with tears. "Do you mean . . ." He could barely finish the sentence, causing me to delicately bite upon my bottom lip. "Jennah deserves a functioning family in her life. And I know I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I let you go, knowing that I'm still hopelessly in love with you."
