Rugged To The Core

Chapter 35

Song for chapter: Let Me Love The Lonely By James Arthur

Lucky

I've got you...

     Nothing seemed to matter, not the bruises, the pain, the meagre contusion and sores on my skin. Not the anxiety, not the despair, not the demons that taunted me, whispering in my head. They all dispersed, leaving me naked.

     The tiled floor felt cold against the back of my thighs, my socks were high enough to cover my calves but the space between the back of my knees and my lower thighs were in contact with the tiled floor. It had started drizzling, so we walked inside, settling on the floor. We were quiet for a few minutes, I kept my gaze low, hiding away from his fierce gaze.

"I didn't realise the call never disconnected." I said, looking down at my nails.

"I figured..." Was his reply.

"I forgot I left a pot of soup on fire." I threw my hand up, then whacked my own head. I chuckled to myself. "Silly me, huh?"

     It was wrong to leave a pot of soup on fire, I got carried away. I truly could've burned down the entire house and I was ashamed about It. But last night, I had gone into the kitchen and realised the soup hadn't even completely thawed. If It was burning, I would have perceived it. But It was still my careless mistake, I never should've left the kitchen in the first place, and I never should've answered Abel's call. Because I then gave myself reason to look bad, it justified the beating.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Silence.

"My dad used to always put his hands on us." He suddenly said. "And for years, I deemed it to be normal too."

I lifted my gaze, finally meeting his. He was leaning against the lockers, like I was, his forearms were propped against his knees as his hands hung loosely.

"It was the stereotypical thing for a Nigerian parent to do." He continued in a gruff voice. "Since I was little, I received his insults and beatings. I tried to obey him, to obey his rules but the things he did made him a scoundrel." I detected resentment in his voice.

A scoundrel, huh?

"I didn't want to disobey him but it was like my subconscious wouldn't let me. I would find myself rebelling against him. It was like his punishment for being evil was my defiance. And that caused grave detriment to befall me. From his hands, of course."

He inhaled deeply. "All the shît he did to me was fűcking painful but It didn't hurt as much as watching him hurt my mother and... my sister."

Sister?

"You have a sister?" I heard myself ask.

"Had." My heart sank, my face mirrored shock, he nodded. "She was five years older. Her name was Sochikaima. She was and still is the most beautiful woman I've ever known. She was so tender, she was never meant to know pain and tears.

I was younger and damaged, I was dysfunctional but I still felt the need to protect her. Both her and my mother. But I was the obvious underdog, I failed her. And she died in the most gruesome way." His hand abruptly flew up to cover his eyes, veins in his neck bulged out like he was holding back a sob.

     It was hard to see Abel that way, my heart bled, I couldn't even begin to imagine the epilogue of this story, he had already given me the prologue and I was shaken up.

I reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder for comfort. "Please don't do this, don't go down memory lane for me. You don't have to continue, I know it hurts to talk about It."