A Good Kind of Change

Real and True

All that was going through my head right now was did I do something wrong? What did I do? Does he not like me? Well I don't look like the type of girl he usually goes for. I really shouldn't have done this. My thoughts are everywhere right now. I really think we're moving too fast.

"Shanya." Colin starts off, "I want you to know somethin'."

I expect the worst and hope for the best.

"I.... Really like you. I have no clue how it happened over a week but it did. I mean I was just content before but now I'm even happier now that I've met you. I have been with other girls before but they don't even compare to how you make me feel. I can be myself with you, just a normal person. Not superstar quarterback Colin Kaepernick. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. After I talked on the phone with you that first night, I felt like I had known you for a few years and not for a few hours honestly. I know it's only been a week and some days but I just had to tell you how I felt. I hope you'll feel the same eventually. I really want to see how this goes."

Wow... I did not expect that... But still. I think we're moving too fast.

Even though I think that we're speeding through this, I can't help that I like him too.

"Colin... I like you too. Gosh I feel like I'm in middle school but this kinda scares me because I was not expecting this at all. I hope to God I hope you don't hurt me Kap..." I say trailing off.

It was hard for me to explain how I felt. Hopefully I will be able to tell him one day and let him inside.

"I completely understand that. I won't hurt you. I know that you've heard stuff about me and most of it isn't true. I want to prove that to you. You know I won't push you to the point where you feel uncomfortable."

"Colin I-"

"You don't have to say anything now. But just think about that..."

I have to tell him. Not now though.

"Who knew the sexy quarterback had a soft side?"

"Only for you princess!" he says with a dazzling smile.

"Your accent is more pronounced when you talk slower. You just do not know..." I say in a daze.

"Well that was random. You like my accent?" he drawls. "I'm so using that against you now!" he says excitedly.

"THOUGHT you was Colin."

"Thought I won't Shanya."

"Colin I wanna keep this between us just to see how it goes. I mean you can tell your friends or whatever but please make sure it doesn't get out to the media. I mean I know that they're going to say something because of the game yesterday but this is new and I really don't want the public to break us before we even got started. So can we please keep this on the down low for a while?" I ramble.

If he ever found out. I knew it would be hell to pay.

"Sure, whatever you want." he says simply

"Thank you." I say and I kiss his cheek.

"I'll do whatever it takes to make you officially mine . Anything you want, you get. I can treat you so good baby..." he says and I smile. Alyssa's words linger in the back of my mind...

The movie was halfway over and I had opened my eyes from my quick nap. I looked up at the clock and it said 2:43 a.m.

Colin got up and went to his dresser and pulled out one of his tshirts.

"You already know wassup. You spendin' the night. And you're gonna like it. I don't want no lip outta you." Colin says while he throws his shirt at me. He's so cute when he's bossy.

"Yes Mr. Kaepernick." I whine.

"I love it when you call me that Carolina." he says.

I giggle and go to the bathroom and take off my top and jeans. I still don't like the reflection staring back at me. I think about the other girls I've seen him with and I just don't feel good enough. They're so skinny and perfect and I'm not. I just don't feel pretty at all...

I blink back the tears that were threatening to fall and put on the shirt. It was a red SF 49ers shirt with his name on the back that stopped a little bit above my knees. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and looked in the mirror. I glare at my reflection and sigh. I turn off the light and make my way out of the bathroom with my clothes.

I look down at the floor and walk to the other side of the bed. I neatly fold my clothes and place them beside my purse. I grab my phone and slide under the covers. I look and see that he has changed into a pair of basketball shorts and a tank. Lord his tattoos... I look up to find him smirking down at me. I turn my head and giggle.

"I like your tattoos..." I say tracing his right bicep.

"Thank you. I remember you saying you had tattoos too. Can I see them?" he asks. I laugh at him and roll back the left sleeve of the shirt so he can see my tat.

"So this was my first tattoo. I got it on my eighteenth birthday." I say. It was my daddy's birthday written in block numbers on top of my left arm.

I remember telling him the meaning behind it and how my mom was joking me and told me it was like a prison number.

My next tattoo which is a cross is on my right ankle.

"I plan to get more later on but I don't want something stupid and meaningless..." I say.

"Everybody thinks that my tattoos are here just because. I actually put a lot of thought into them. They mean so much to me."

I love to watch him talk about his tattoos. It's so cute how his face just lights up when he talks about the meaning behind them.

"Colin we have to go on a tattoo date when we figure out what we want!" I say excitedly.

"Really? That would be hot though. Watchin' my girl get tatted up beside me."

I loved the way he said "my girl".

"We are so doing that. You ain't backing out either. If I try to, drag me there anyway and remind me it was my idea."

"Oh you are not backing out!"

I trace the black tattoo line below his neck. I honestly hate chest tattoos but they look so damn good on him. Why is he so perfect?

This is so surreal. I never thought I would ever be laying in bed with Colin Kaepernick. Honestly I don't care that he's a superstar quarterback, he could work for some small business and wear suits instead of jerseys and I would still like him. He's so real and true.

I still have to keep my guard up for awhile. I am so easily broken and I feel like if he ever broke me, I would never be the same. Well I said that about my ex boyfriend and look at me now; I'm distressed beyond repair. I hope to God this does not turn out to be a big disaster.