Misused & Abused

Privately Terrified

Wasn't easy just coming out saying it. But to hold that against me forever is just ridiculous to me. I'm not perfect as you want to be, but times like this I can be forgiven for what I did. I can not go back in time and change how things went down. I just can't. After performing at the Staples Center, I headed to my dressing room to change into different clothes and head home. It's been rocky the last couple of months with drama and hidden secrets. As the days go by, I'm meeting my parents soon to talk to them bout how life has been going for me. I want be telling to much of what has occurred, but majority will be mentioned. I don't want to mention Chris abusing me to them. Lord knows my dad would have been pissed. Only for there safety I don't want my baby daddy doing anything stupid as of now. He hasn't really been feeling well be just might need some rest. Who am I to say that tho. I've known him long enough to know he want rest until he gets what he wants. That's why I haven't made a move yet cause I know he will be looking for me and Royalty. Maybe inviting Chris over today would calm down the drama that me and him have been having. I don't even feel like I had a baby nor do I feel like I had the time to enjoy my first month almost to as a mom. Due to the fact that I was dealing with Blake's bullshit and right along Chris bullshit. I sometimes ask myself when is it going to just be over. Can't seem to answer that at all. Walking down my stairs in my house, I went into the kitchen to prepare Royalty bottle just in case she woke up and was hungry. She normally cries when her diaper needs changed which isn't bad. I always thought she would be so greedy but she isn't greedy. At least as of now she isn't a greedy baby to handle. Sitting the bottle on the counter I figured since Chris will be here in two hours I can take a little nap before he gets here. I just hope she doesn't start crying yet, cause mommy wants to enjoy this nap. Grabbing a pillow along with my favorite blanket ,and slowly laid down on the sofa. Alicia keys No one played on her radio next to her, while her eyes shut slowly and she fell into a deep sleep.
................................................................"Hunny our daughter has been acting you know different lately. It's like when I mention Chris name or something I find off bout him she snaps at me. But when I bring up Blake she snaps at me as well." Riri dad looked over at her and shook his head at her words. " She is fine you just tripping as always. Our daughter don't need you in her ear telling her how to live her life." He was beyond fed up with her acting like this. There daughter had gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and now her mom is thinking something is suspicious. " Why I'm even talkin to you bout this knowing that was the response I was going to get back." " I'm glad you know what I was going to say. I am always going to love and support Robyn. She is a smart woman and knows what's good for her. She just doesn't feel the need to tell us everything which is fine by me. Give her time to get use to being a newly mom." Mr. Fenty is absolutely right bout this. He knows his daughter heart to know what she wants and what she needs in her life. " I guess your right we just have to see later." " Mhm now let's get some rest before we see her. Not trying to be sleepy at her house." " Let's go Hunny."
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As the day began to become dawn, Robyn was still asleep when Chris used his spare key to get inside the house. He took his jacket off placing it on the rack and walking over to her as she continues sleeping. Chris smiled as he kissed her forehead and coveted her up with a blanket. He didn't want to distract her so he let her stay asleep and flipped on the Tv to watch his favorite cartoons. I love cartoons myself just like he does. Once Chris is into them there is no reason or way to interrupt him. Robyn moved on her other side to get comfortable again. Chris looked over from where he was sitting to make sure that he was ok. He than cut the tv off and started playing songs from back in the days. One song got me almost bout to wake up out my sleep. He was getting hot and decided to take his shit off, plugging up his ps4 game in to play one of his favorite sports 2k14. As scared I might be I love him when he isn't mad. I don't want him to think or feel like I'm doing shit to pissed him off or making an excuse why he can't see Royalty. If I done that to him he would have went on a full Rampage to try and get full custody of her. Who knows what's going to happen when I wake up. He seems to be doing just find right now since I'm not awake, but news flash that don't always work out for me. As Up to you played on the radio, Chris went over to where she was laying down and started singing to her. While removing his shoes he lay down behind her and held her tight to him. Placing kisses on her forehead multiple times he restarted the song on her radio and laid his head down on her pillow. Closing his eyes shut with no problem his song " Leave it up to you" Continued playing.
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Chris Brown- Up to You * playing on her stereo*
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Up To You"

[Verse 1]
What the hell babe,
Damn I ain't never felt this way
Somebody, somebody, tell me
I don't have a clue what to do
When it comes to you
Baby, you're so beautiful
Every time I see you girl, it throw me off
It's so unusual
For me to be waiting
But I don't want to blow it girl,
But you should know this girl

[Chorus]
I'm not gonna be the one to mess this up
Cause I done effed up in love before,
I'ma be the one to take a back seat girl
We can take our time and
you can run this, Stay in, go out,
Anything you want girl, we can do
Girl are we going down, I don't know,
But from here now baby I'm gone leave that up to you,
I'ma leave it up to you

[Verse 2]
What the hell babe
make me wanna jump out an airplane
The way it feels, I just can't explain
I don't wanna lose it, so I'm just gone stay out my own way
Baby, you're so incredible (you're so beautiful),
every time I see you girl, it throw me off
It's some kind of special (unusual)
So I'm gone keep waiting
But I don't wanna blow it girl,
But you should know this girl...

[Chorus]
I'm not gonna be the one to mess this up
Cause I done effed up in love before,
I'ma be the one to take a back seat girl
We can take our time and
you can run this, Stay in, go out,
Anything you want girl, we can do
Girl are we going down, I don't know,
But from here now baby I'm gone leave that up to you,

[Breakdown]
I'm not tryna be a heart breaker, like I was before
(that was the old me)
I've made so many tears, I don't wanna make no, make no more
so give me your list, yes I'm checking things off
ready to go to work, baby you can be boss
and I'm okay with it, ain't gone play with it
so baby girl, it's your call

[Chorus]
I'm not gonna be the one to mess this up
Cause I done effed up in love before,
I'ma be the one to take a back seat girl
We can take our time and
you can run this, Stay in, go out,
Anything you want girl, we can do
Girl are we going down, I don't know,
But from here now baby I'm gone leave that up to you,
leave that up to you.
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Robyn woke up for a second and looked behind her to see Chris was in her presents. She hasn't felt like this since the day they met and to her felt like the best thing in the world. She turned lightly kissing him on his cheek and turns back around. With a smile grin on her face, she closed her eyes once again failing deep to sleep.
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To be continued...