After having a good night with Chris I'm all alone. Wes still isn't home yet and Chris went to his other baby mama house to keep her company for the rest of the night. As bad as that upsets me I'm really trying my best to keep my composure with her. I find it rude that she would called Chris while he is on a date me asking him to come over. You had all day what was you doing the time he was available. I hope Chris does not have me meet her cause I can tell you now that's not gonna work out. He would have to be a referee If me and her ever got into it. Which I hopes never happens at all. I have no problem with her but she does with me and she has a way of lying like she doesn't but man if you only knew than you would see what I'm talking about. Every since I've been pregnant nobody wants to spend tome with me. Their either busy with others things or they just not really up for no hangout. I guess that's ok tho I'm use to being all by myself. My smile hides my tears. My laugh hides my screams. It's been this way for years.Things aren't as they seem.I always seem so happy.With not a care in the world. But you should know sadly, Many things go untold.Nobody really knows me. They only know my cover. But I wish I could let it free.
Let them know what's under. But instead I practice My smiles in the mirror. Then the next thing I do is
Make my fake laugh clearer. What is wrong? You need help? Is all they will ask. So I have decided To live behind a mask. I'm the one , who hides behind a smile everyday. I'm the one , who has a tough exterior. But that's not who I really am. I'm the one , who has a lot of problems, But doesn't share one thing.
I'm the one , who keeps everything bottled up. Sometimes I just need someone to talk to. Someone to care about me. Someone to listen to my problems. Someone to hold me when I cry. Someone to love me. Nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows what I go through everyday. Nobody knows what I have to do just to make it through the day. Nobody knows that I'm the one who isn't who I say I am.
And I'm the one who will cry herself to sleep every night. This is what it feels like being all by myself. It sucks a lot but I'm use to it.. Might as well rest while I can before its time to get up again. Tomorrow might be another long day.
YOU ARE READING
Misused & Abused
FanfictionI thought I found the man of my dreams but turns out he became the worse nightmare i could ever imagine. Never thought he would ever did what he did to me. It all happen out of anger. Just tired of being misused & abused
