Misused & Abused

Spotlight is on me

Never thought I'll see myself starring at a different wall today. So much has happened I can't even put to mind when the last time I actually went to sleep. Just not like how it use to be anymore. No longer married to Wes and now I'm trapped with a man I chose to have a baby with, who doesn't seem to care bout me. But he loves RoRo to death. Can you blame him. In the situation I'm in with him and Wes no. Wes didn't even fuckin listen to anything I had to say. I would think he would have taken it well, instead of laughing in my face like it was funny. Nothing I said was funny to me. Being honest isn't nothing to joke about and for him to think so. Just proves me how much he cares. Absolutely not. Than on top of that when my mom asked me if Chris hit me I couldn't even look my mom and the eyes clearly and say yes. Instead I snapped at her. Can you blame me tho? The things I had to go through while carrying my daughter in me is not something you hear or see happens. I haven't tried or tempt myself into talking to my mom. But God knows I need to ASAP. Not sure if she seen the blogs lately there making such a big deal about me not getting married. That's not even all they said. They even mention Wes not being my daughters father. Basically saying I had in affair while being with Wes, when I wasn't with him when I found out I was pregnant. When I did find out I was expecting and me and Wes got back together I didn't know how to tell him I was gonna be having Chris baby and not his. This is too much. Why am I the one feeling like I'm suffering. Wes mad at me don't want shit to do with me. My mom can't stop asking me fuckin questions bout Chris hitting me and Chris can't stop acting like the world evolves around him when it doesn't. Ugh! I give the fuck up on shit. Whatever happens in the present/future happens so God lay it on me.
................................................................
*knocks at the door *
Me: Who is it?
Mom: It's your mom Robyn.
Me: *opens door* Hey mom.
Mom: Hey baby *hugs you* it's been a while since we last talked.
Me: *hugs you back* Yea mom Ik and i need to talk you, glad you stop by so much has happened and right now I need you here with me.
Mom: What's wrong Robyn? *sits down on the sofa looking at you*
Me: *takes a deep breath* Well, don't know if you heard this but me and Wes are no longer getting married and he isn't the father of your granddaughter royalty.
Mom: Robyn??
Me: No comment.
Mom: Robyn?? What happened and who is her father???
Me: Chris and I had sex and I got pregnant.
Mom: 😨😨 Robyn why didn't you tell me.
Me: I was afraid you would judge me just like everyone. They all calling me a cheater when me and Wes wasn't together when I met Chris.
Mom: *rubs your back slowly* I would never judge you Robyn. Your my child. If anything I'm gonna be honest with you.
Me: And when I was pregnant with Royalty, Chris hit me multiple times in my face and arms and he punched me in my stomach, while a pile of blood start flowing down between my legs.
Mom:Wtf??? Are you serious Robyn, why he do that?
Me: Yes and idk why. I never asked him why cause I would always have this feeling that he is gonna hit me.
Mom: Cant believe he put his hands on you. Has Wes ever hit you?
Me: No he hasn't but he has hurt me deep before.
Mom: Sorry you have to go through this Robyn.
Me: Mom it's fine. I know now to choose men wisely and not let them run over me. Cause you raised me so much better than that.
Mom: I sure did now come get me one more hug mom got to go to the spa.
Me: *hugs you*
Mom: You ever need anything Robyn, call me ok.
Me: I will mom, thank you.
Mom: Anything for my daughter.
Well that went good didn't suspect my mom reactions to be the way that it was but it help me release just a bit to much of my shoulders. Still got a lot of shit on my mind that I need to lay it all out. But not gonna stress over it at the moment but when the time is right I'll make sure to say what's on my mind. The blogs gon have a story to tell everyday bout me. It's like they know it all when they don't know anything. Most of the time they be lying to these people just to get money and ratings off them, like who spends there time doing shit like that. Your looking at a 50/50 chance that half the shit there presenting you is true and the other half can sometimes be there opinion about the situation. Or a lie on top of the lie to keep the story interesting. Don't know why they do that but that do. One blog assumed I was taking steroids to get my shape back after having royalty. Which is clearly not true at all. So that's a total fail for them to even believe that. Any ways enough with the blogs and media shit.i can't risk my daughter in this type of environment. I got to do what I got to do for her. So when she grows up and becomes somebody in life, she want have to have nobody by her side but herself. She doesn't have to worried bout me not ever leaving her life, cause I'm here for her. And her only. She is the center of my attention and I refuse to let another mf tell me otherwise. Lying in the dark placing my head on my soft black pillow case, drifting off in my dream trying to picture myself. In a world of Happiness.