only once, hayes grier

two times

(skip the packing and stuff)

in the plane:
i could see something was wrong with hayes. it's always him who asks me how i am, now it's my turn.

"hayes?"

"mh?" he tells quitting his eyes from the window. i just disturb his thoughts.

"what's wrong?"

"i can't help it but think about what you told me last night" he mumbles after a few seconds. i become a little nervous so i started playing with my gold choker.

We could only see the glow of the moon that crosses the small window of the plane. All the rest was black. Our window was one of the only ones that was open.

"i guess i feel the same" he tells. my heart.

it wasn't awkward at all.

"but i just don't know what is stopping us"

what does he means?

"it just looks like we are not meant to be together" my heart, again. but not the same feeling, just, no feelings at all. "you're my best friend, and i love you. really really much. i love you more than as my best friend, but i don't know, it looks like something is stopping us" he continues. i was just listening, wanting to cry and yell.

"maybe it's because we know each other too well since a long time, maybe it's because of our parents, i don't know but don't you feel there is something who's stopping this?"

why the fuck he kissed me last night and then tells me he ain't loving me back.

"i–i really don't know and i'm the the worst at those conversations, i guess eh– i guess we don't need to rush that to an answer, i just never want to loose you hayes"

"you won't ever loose me, even if i'm in an other country" he tells and makes a little smile.

i close my eyes, wanted to sleep but couldn't, of course. hayes grier just told me in a really extremely polite way he didn't liked me back.

...
arriving to the new york airport
we took our bags and stuff, we passed by the customs, it was all good.

i responded to the messages i got and almost forgot about the party.

"are you too tired to come to the party tonight?" i ask.

"i'll see if i really am then" he tells and smiles. that was so fake grier, try again.

ok first he tells me he isn't loving me back and second he's choking on that party? i don't really care for real but i just don't want him to stop talking to me and shit because of that. i guess i'll have to get through and try to stop the feelings i have for him.

i texted my dad because he's the one who need to bring us back home. that's what we did. he asks a bunch of questions i didn't answered, hayes did.

i told him i was just too tired to talk. never i've looked at hayes in the eyes. what if he sees my shitty ass broken soul in them? oh nevermind.

...
chap 21
update from me: my crush brought me to burger king after that date thing. he met my dad and i think he liked him😬