A Road To The Life I Want

Chapter 32 : Come Find Me

After hearing her words, my heart stopped and I couldn't breathe. I had difficulty in breathing. My eyes became more blurry. I could only hear her voice, echoing in my mind. My eyes started to close automatically and I couldn't open my eyes. My breathing gradually started to decline. My head ached too much that I couldn't take it. I started to scream in pain. I could feel someone shouting in front of me. I could hear the footsteps walking into the room. I think that's Ahmed's parents. My difficulty in breathing increased every second. I want to open, but I couldn't open my eyes. I think I am going to die. My heartbeat started to decline and I could feel it. I could hear Ahmed's voice near me. He said something. I tried to concentrate and listen, even though I am in pain. He said silently, "It's time to go." No, I don't want to die. I started to breathe again. My heartbeat started to rise again and I shouted, "I DON'T WANT TO GO." I could feel my eyes starting to open up. I think I can do it. I heard Ahmed's voice again "Come Find Me..."

Suddenly I started to breathe and I opened my eyes. I saw my sister's face. She was saying something. I was lying on the bed. I got up and my ears started to open up.

She said, "It's OK, it's only a dream. Calm down."

I shouted, "WHAT??" She was looking at me with a smile.

She slowly explained, "You were just having a nightmare and you were shouting something. I came in and saw you on the bed, Shouting. I tried to wake you up, But..."

I interrupted her, "Did I say anything?"

She replied, "Yes, but I couldn't understand anything. Just breathe, relax. It's only a dream cry baby. Wipe the tears off your face. Go and wash your face. I am going to my room. Call me if you need anything." Thank God, she didn't hear what I was bluffing in the dream. I got really scared.

I said to myself, "it's only a dream. It's only a nightmare. Yeah, it's just a dream." I could feel my hands still shaking. After a long time, I am having nightmares. This is the worst nightmare, I ever had. Thank God, I woke up.

What if, Ahmed is really alive? I couldn't fill his position. I shouldn't do that. What if, the dream that I had becomes real. Should I tell my sister, the truth?

I am confused. I could still hear Ahmed's voice echoing in my mind, "Come find me..." I think I have been too comfortable with Ahmed's family. It's time to search for the truth. I should find what happened to Ahmed. I cannot live his life until he is dead. Should I kill him? Don't be stupid, he is dead. He is not alive. What if he is really alive?

I could still feel his presence in my room. I should get out of here without telling anyone. I should run away from here before they know the truth. Or should I say the truth to them? I don't understand. What am I saying? He is driving me crazy. If he is alive, I should find him first.

Wait a second, where is the ring? I ran into the drawer and opened it. I saw the ring inside it. In the dream, I saw Ahmed at my back when I opened the drawer. What if the nightmare becomes true? What if he is at my back? What if he comes this minute? I looked back and no one was there. I ran outside the house and looked if he is here. There was no one.

My sister shouted, "It's just a dream." But I should trust my dreams, they always become real. If Ahmed's alive, I should find him, before he finds me. I should ask help from Camp and Mani. I should go out. I was sweating a lot. I took the towel and went for a bath. I opened the shower and my heart was still beating fast. I don't know if this is the reality. The water was running through my whole body. I could feel chillness. Still, my mind was not calm. My legs were still shaking.

I heard my mom shouting, "Abu, Afrin, come to eat."

After the bath, I ran into the room and dressed myself up.