Chapter Fifty Nine
‘I dunno why I’m crying.’ Cheryl sniffs, laughing through her tears.
‘Call it the emotional build up.’ I whisper, kissing the top of her head gently. ‘It’s ok to cry.’
‘I must be dreamin’ then.’ Cheryl says. ‘This is a dream.’
‘What’re you on about?’
‘It just seems like… everything’s turning out well… like, right.’
‘It does feel a bit unusual.’ I admit with a laugh. ‘But it’s not impossible. Everything’s going to be fine now.’
‘Yeah.’ Cheryl sighs, sitting up and smiling at me. I rub away the last of her tears and kiss her.
‘It’s over now.’
‘I hope so.’
‘It’s over.’ I say firmly. I lean back, pulling her with me. ‘I know it’s easy for me to say, but we have to let go and look to the future now.’
Cheryl nods, but doesn’t say anything.
I close my eyes, starting to drift off again as Cheryl contently strokes my arm.
‘By the way I never said.’ I murmur. ‘Last night… it was perfect. Thank you.’
‘No, thank You!’ Cheryl smiles. ‘Honestly last night meant a lot to me. Thanks for letting me… well, take control so to speak.’
‘Believe me, you can take control whenever you feel the need… I am yours to command!’
‘Just in the bedroom, or all the time? Cos I’d love to have cups o’ tetleh on tap…’
‘Very funny.’
‘Who said I was joking?’ Cheryl chuckles. She kisses my forehead and I close my eyes again as she starts to play with my hair.
‘I wish we could lie here forever.’ She sighs, snuggling further into my body.
‘I know… if we didn’t have to do certain necessary things to stay alive, I’d honestly just spend forever here just holding you.’
We fall into a comfortable silence. I could quite happily go to sleep again but I know that sooner or later we’ll have to move.
‘It feels like we’ve been together much longer than we actually have, don’t you think?’ Cheryl says suddenly.
‘I hope you mean that in a nice way.’ I smirk, opening my eyes.
‘Yeah course!’
‘Then yeah, definitely.’ I agree, kissing her shoulder. ‘You know me better than anyone… you care about me more than anyone else. Since I’ve been with you I’ve felt things I didn’t know were possible, you know? And you make me feel something different every day. I – I’m so in love with you.’
I feel the smile on my face growing as I watch Cheryl’s spread across her face as I speak.
‘That’s exactly what I feel like.’
‘What made you say that babe?’
‘I dunno, just thinking aloud that’s all.’
‘Probably because we spent loads of time together as friends first.’
‘All the time wanting to kiss you.’ Cheryl giggles.
‘And occasionally doing just that after a drink!’ I point out, pinching her nose.
‘Oi, I needed me dutch courage, then at least I had something to blame it on if you rejected us.’ Cheryl laughs.
‘Which I only did because you were drunk anyway.’ I tut mockingly.
‘Aye, well, everything came good in the end eh?’
‘Yeah… Cheryl?’
‘What?’
‘I don’t ever want to leave you.’
‘Aaawwh, babe… I don’t want you to either!’
‘D’you think we’ll be together forever? Like seriously, forever.’
Cheryl sits up and holds my hand. ‘That’s the hope, babe. It might sound a bit… daunting to you, but I do want to spend the rest of me life with you.’
‘It isn’t daunting, that’s what I want too. But didn’t you think that once with Ashley?’
Cheryl frowns slightly. ‘Yes I did, once. I wouldn’t have married him otherwise. But he did things that made me change me mind, you’ve never done anything to make us not wanna be with you.’
I raise my eyebrows, cocking my head sarcastically. ‘Nothing?’
Cheryl rolls her eyes. ‘C’mon, what happened to lookin’ to the future and letting go of all that stuff? You said it just now.’
‘I know, you’re right… I was just thinking aloud.’
‘What you did was because of things in your life you hadn’t face properly… Ashley cost me something that just – it changes how you see a person. Forever.’
‘I’m sorry Chez, I didn’t mean to bring that all back for you.’
‘No, it’s ok. You understand though?’
‘Yeah.’ I whisper. ‘And I hope I never change your mind about me.’
‘I hope I never change yours either.’
‘I can’t see that to be honest.’ I whisper. ‘You’re perfect.’
‘Don’t be daft nobody’s perfect.’
‘You are to me. You’re beautiful, sexy, loving, loyal, you have a heart of gold Cheryl. And you’re the only person in the whole world I trust.’
‘I’m sure that’s not true.’
‘Which bit?’ I tease, but Cheryl just pouts. ‘No, it is.’
‘Come on… really?’
