Chapter Nineteen
Things with Andrew were worse than ever. Me mam was going crazy with worry about him. So I took a break from promoting me first single to go home for just a couple of days. She thought he’d listen to me.
I went round to the flats he was supposed to be living. Most of the block was boarded up, or full of graffiti, or both. I went to the number me mam had told me he would be at and knocked. Eventually I heard his voice through the door.
‘Who is it?’
‘Andrew? It’s me, it’s Cheryl.’
‘What’re you doing here?’
‘I wanted to see how you are… will you let us in? I want to talk to you.’
‘Okay… let’s talk.’
Andrew threw the door open and pulled me in so hard I cried out in pain and surprise. The flat was completely dark. I stumbled into the corridor and turned around, angry. ‘Jesus Andrew what the f--’
I completely froze. He stood against the door. He looked terrible, his clothes hanging off his skinny frame, his eyes bulging, and shaking.
And he was pointing a gun in my face.
Two Weeks Later
Every day, even though I would never say it, I lose a little bit more hope.
Adam and I ran out of things to talk about a long time ago. The last time we had a proper conversation was when he said, ‘Today’s three years since Dad died. Kimberley’s going to be really upset she missed it.’ Since then, we just sit in silence, looking at her.
Sarah is travelling around, working. She didn’t want to leave but I told her she should. She still calls every day, to see what’s happening.
But nothing is happening.
Adam and I sit there now, in a ‘Relative’s Room’, with the doctor. He sits opposite us, looking grim. ‘It’s been… sixteen days. Kimberley hasn’t responded to any treatment, or shown any signs of--’
‘No.’ I say loudly, making them both look at me.
‘What?’ the doctor says.
‘I know what you’re going to say. You want us to give up on her. Let her go. Whatever you say to people here that makes it sound like the right thing to do.’
Adam looks back at the doctor. ‘Are you saying… you think she’s gone.’
‘She hasn’t responded to any treatment.’ The doctor repeats. ‘I’m advising you that--’
‘No.’ I say again. The doctor ignores me and looks at Adam.
‘You’re her next of kin. If you-- ’
I stand up, making them both jump. I thought I was losing hope, but maybe I was wrong. ‘You can’t.’ I say to Adam. ‘Come on, is this serious?! People have been in comas much, much longer than this before. Much longer. And after two weeks you want to let her die?! You can’t.’
‘Cheryl. Let me speak.’ Adam says quietly. I stand there shaking, trying not to cry. Adam stands up too, and puts his hands on my shoulders. ‘I’m not giving up either.’
He turns back to the doctor. ‘Thank you for giving me the information, but its not something I’m willing to consider.’ Without another word he grasps my hand and pulls me from the room, taking us straight back to Kimberley.
**
‘There’s more to it, isn’t there?’
We’ve been sat, again in silence, with Kimberley for about three hours. So I have no idea what Adam is talking about.
‘Sorry?’
‘The stories in the papers all those years ago about your brother. There’s more to it.’
‘Of course. Those papers, they never tell a full story, never. Whatever you read, there’s always something you still don’t know.’
‘Fair enough, but I’m not talking about all stories. Just yours specifically.’
‘What about it?’
‘Well I’m right aren’t I? There’s more.’
‘Not being funny mate, but that’s none of your business.’
‘It is if it effects my sister.’ Adam answers coolly.
I lean forwards with a sigh. We each sit at opposite sides of the bed now, each holding one of Kimberley’s hands.
‘When Kimberley wakes up, there is a lot we have to talk about. With respect that’s between me and her. There are things only Kimberley knows about me… and I think there are things only I know about her. When she comes back to… us…’ I pause, having nearly said “me” instead of “us”. ‘I’ll tell Kimberley what she needs to know.’
Adam doesn’t answer. I wait, on guard for ages, expecting more, but I think he’s dropped it.
‘Do you want anything to eat, or drink? I’m gonna go and…’ Adam stands up, gesturing outside. Night has fallen now. Another day without her.
‘No thanks, I’ll get something later.’ I mutter. I wouldn’t leave her alone anyway.
‘I might not be back tonight. I need to… I’ll come back in the morning.’ He says.
‘Okay, well… you’ve got a key for the house, remember. Take care yeah?’
‘I will.’
I lay my head on the bed, stroking up and down Kimberley’s arm with one hand, holding her fingers tightly in my own with the other. I look at her for a while, then turn my head away. I have nothing to say now.
I fall in and out of sleep, having strange dreams in which Kimberley is telling me to follow her, and I’m running after her, but I can’t catch her and she gets further and further away until she disappears. That’s when I wake up.
There is tightness on my fingers. I lift my head a tiny bit, looking at my hand, still joined to Kimberley’s. Her fingers are pressing tightly into my hand, and as I watch they loosen shakily.
She squeezed my hand.
I look to her face in shock. Her eyes are open.
