Chapter Forty Six
I phone Cheryl a total of sixteen times before giving up.
Numb, I make my way into the kitchen and pick up the glass. Unable to think of anything else to do, I dial my mum’s number.
It’s late now and I’m not expecting her to answer. But she does.
‘Hello?’
‘It’s me.’
‘Kimberley? Are you ok?’
Why is she asking me if I’m ok? Surely it should be the other way around…
‘Yeah… I… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.’
‘Why are you sorry?’
‘I – I ran away. I shouldn’t’ve ran away. A-are you alright?’ I cringe at my own words.
‘I’m fine love. Are you sure nothing’s wrong?’
‘M-me and Cheryl had a fight.’ I sniff.
‘Oh no… what happened?’
‘No, it – not now. T-tell me about… tell me when you found out. I want to know.’
She sighs softly. ‘I found out not long after I made you leave home. I saw a few doctors, and the night before my first operation was the night Adam came over and told me about you.’
‘And this operation… what happened? It didn’t work? Or…?’
‘It’s a tumour… they tried to remove it but they didn’t get it all.’
A long silence follows.
‘So what happens now?’ I whisper, afraid if the answer.
‘I have another operation in two months’ time.’
‘And you’ll be ok after that?’
‘They said there’s every chance it’ll be successful, but don’t worry yourself about it love, ok?’
‘You can’t do this on your own.’ I say desperately, my throat thickening with tears.
‘Don’t get upset, Kimberley.’ She says firmly. ‘Pull yourself together.’
‘You’re not doing this on your own. It’s not fair. I’ll come and see you again soon, and I’ll be there when you have this operation. I promise.’
‘No you will not. You’re too young and you’ve already seen enough of the inside of hospitals to last you a lifetime. You’ll stay right where you are.’
‘Then I’ll tell Adam what’s wrong with you and he can be there instead.’
‘You promised you wouldn’t tell Adam!’
‘Well you’re gonna have to choose then because it’s either one or the other.’
‘I didn’t want you to have anything to do with this Kimberley.’ She sighs, defeated.
‘I appreciate the thought. But I know now, and I’m gonna be there. I really need to sort things out with Cheryl, but I’ll speak to you soon, ok?’
‘Okay love.’
‘Will you phone me if you need to? Like if… I don’t even know, just if you need to?’
‘If you want me to.’
‘I do.’
‘Alright then.’
‘Take care, ok?’
‘You are so much like your Dad it’s unreal.’
‘What?’ I laugh a little, but I don’t know why. I’m surprised by that statement.
‘You’re a good person.’
‘I don’t know about that.’ I mutter, my mind still ninety nine percent on Cheryl.
‘You are love. Go on and do something useful, speak to Cheryl. Talk to you soon.’
‘Bye, mum.’
**
I phone Cheryl another five times, but get nothing. I expect to feel the urge to break something, to lash out in frustration. But I just feel exhausted. Like there’s nothing left.
It’s after midnight when I hear the buzzer. I’ve been curled up on the sofa for ages and when I jump up and run to the door, my numb legs throbbing at the sudden weight on them, I expect to see Cheryl’s come back.
But it’s not her.
It’s Sarah.
Oh God, she’s going to kill me. She’s going to scream at me and tell me what a horrible girlfriend I am and what a horrible person I am…
