Dummies' Guide to Being a Superhero (Editing)

Twenty-Three: Am I Right, Mr. Little-Dick?

TWENTY-THREE: AM I RIGHT, MR. LITTLE-DICK?

"All right, I'm only going to say this once . . . BOOYAH!"

- Cyborg, Teen Titans EP. #5-10.
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GRETAL SITS ON THE ROOF of a building ten feet away from the abandoned company, looking down at Orion and his partner as they circle the perimeter. She glances at John, who had suddenly taken her bag and her eyes widened in realization.

"Wai-"

"Shit!"

She sighed as John held a hand to his face and the black cat slipped out, walking towards her. At least it knows how to recognize danger.

"What the fuck is a cat doing in your bag!" John whispered fiercely as Gretal glanced down below at the guards.

"Well," Gretal started slowly, "the cat was dying and all alone-"

"Oh! I've seen that cat before," Oscar whispered, "my neighbor next door is always feeding it."

John glared at her.

"Okay," she said with a hiss, "I thought it would be nice to have a pet at the warehouse. And I'm sure Gabe won't mind having him, right?"

John sighed. "Fine."

"Well, now the cat is out of the bag. Literally." Gretal said as she quickly picked up the animal and slipped it back in her bag, leaving the zipper a bit open for air. "Sorry," she whispered through the opening.

"Anyways," John said slowly, "I see a door on the roof of the company. It's probably the emergency exit. We'll go through there quickly and hopefully we'll avoid a fight here on out. Got it?"

Oscar nodded, but Gretal raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure we can make it? That's a ten-feet-jump and-"

"We'll make it. No worries." John replied as he went through his own bag and pulled out a pair of grappling guns.

"Well, fuck, you came prepared..." Gretal muttered.

John grinned. "I'm always prepared."

She snorted. "Sure."

John stood up. "Our second backup should be coming soon. She's known to be fashionably late."

Oscar glanced at Gretal. "Who?"

She opened her bag, giving the cat to Oscar and quickly grabbed a set of tazers. You never know. She might need to electrocute some assholes, or maybe even John just for fun. "It's the female version of Deadpool."

"For the last time it isn't Deadpool." John added quickly.

"I didn't say Deadpool. I said the female version of Deadpool."

"Whatever. You guys ready?"

Gretal grinned twirling the grappling hook in her hand. "Of course I'm ready, why wouldn't no I be-"

John shot his hook into the building and jumped, swinging and landing perfectly on his feet.

"Asshole," she muttered as she followed suit, jumping off the building. She tried not to laugh as the wind slapped her face and rugged at her hair. The fun ended and she glanced down, sticking her tongue at Orion's back.

John glanced back at her. "Let's go."

Gretal nodded, excitement rolling off of her. Let's do this!

• • • •

Gretal sighed, having just wasted 12 minutes on the door on the roof, 9 minutes arguing with John on how to open since it was apparently locked and 3 minutes trying to open the lock with a hair pin. They quickly slipped inside, hoping Orion hadn't heard their voices.