Another Broken Smile

53- Always close but never together

"I don't know what happened to her" I whisper to Alec as we stand outside my hospital room. I know that Adeline lies on the other end of the door breaking and shriveling to the ground.

"What if I don't know the right thing to say? And I only hurt her even more" I complain to Alec as I worry about the endless possibilities. I love Adeline and she is the only one that has always stayed by my side as I have cried moonlit nights about my problems, been there to pick me after every fall but I am scared if I can't be that for her.

I can't be the shoulder she needs to cry on. I can't be the person that she breaks her walls for. And I don't know what to do.

"Autumn" he calls to me snatching my thoughts away from the wild possibilities in my head. He holds my hand to make sure that I listen to him. I look into those blue eyes as he speaks encouragingly to me and tells me, "She needs you right now. It doesn't matter if you don't know the right things to say because you just being there for her will be enough."

"Yeah" I nod gathering the courage I need and then fearfully turning the door knob in. Alec steps behind to let me gather my courage and do what I am supposed to do. But he is there for me, to pick me if I fall. To be there when I need someone.

I walk into the room and close the door softly behind me. Alec leaves the both of us alone knowing we need our space.

"Adeline...." I call to her.

"Sarah came to meet me" she states as she looks up from her hands where she buried her face in. She is sitting on the bed and crying endless tears of pain. Her statement is all it takes for me to rush and sit by her side.

"Oh! Adeline, what happened?" I ask her softly. I don't want to break the news to her if she doesn't know the truth yet but seeing her cry I know that the damage is already done.

"She came to apologize. Apologize! Why did she have to do it in the first place?" Adeline asks. She seems to be lost in a sea of questions searching desperately for answers that none of us know.

"She said that she was the one..." she breaks into a fresh set of tears.

"I know darling, I know" I hush her as she breaks down and I hug her to know that I'll be there.

"She was my friend... Ellie... she was a friend" she says shaking with cries of betrayal. And I know exactly how it feels to miss a friend and to lose one. They come and you slowly let your defenses down only to be betrayed and bruised in the end.

Isn't it ironic that the ones you love the most hurt you the worst?

*****************************************************************************************************It is the morning when I am discharged from hospital and given the permission to go back to school that I see him. I see him in the hallways that day.

"We'll be late Ellie. I promise I will murder you if I get a detention" Adeline threatens but sounds like a whiny innocent child with her panic seeping into her threat.

"Yeah... Coming" I tell her trying fruitlessly to search for my neon highlighter.

"I can't find it" I whine to her as I hurriedly search in all possible corners of my messy locker.

"Just borrow mine. Please..." she begs me and before I can even properly shut my locker door, she holds my hand and we are rushing through the crowds of hurrying students just before the tardy bell rings as a death sentence to all of us. The hallways are crowded after the lunch break and we are rushing to our next class together. I don't tell Adeline how much I hate her blue marker pen and only follow her as she in a panic tries to weave through the endless crowds of students.