I pull up to the house. I look at it before getting out of my car. I walk up to the house and unlock the front door. The house still lingers with the smell of Apple Cinnamon. I breath in. I walk around the living room and smile. Then I walk into the kitchen and look at the perfectly untouched fruit in the fruit bowl. I then walk down the hall and see the family photos on each side of the walls. I look at me and Kendall playing softball with our hair muddy and messy. I smile at the memory. Then I look at me, my dad, Kendall and my mom in a family photo looking extremely nice. Then I see the tally marks on the wall recording me and Kendall's heights. I continue walking down the hallway into the laundry room and see the dent in the dryer from me throwing a softball at it. I don't remember what my 12 year old self could be so mad about. Then I walk up the stairs knowing the tears might start flowing down my cheeks. I walk into my room and look at all the artsy photos I tried to take of everything. There's photos of me and Orion. And me and Talia. Me and my mom. Trees. Clouds. Everything. They're beautiful. I search around my room some more and find a folded piece of paper on my bed. I grab it and open it. It's a note to me from my mom. Oh My God. She's crazy. This woman was legit crazy. She has completely hated on Kendall in this note and said she's a failure. Kendall hasn't even failed in life but she was so blinded by her own thoughts she couldn't even see her firstborn became a lawyer and own an amazing house and have an amazing husband and daughter. I watch tears fall down onto the note. She's lost it. I can't even finish it. I shake my head and walk into my mom's room. Her room was so plain and clean. I walk into the bathroom and I gasp. I look at the counter and see her blood everywhere. It's on the floor. It's on her towels. Shower curtain. It's terrible. I see the pills all over the place and I just start crying. I can't breathe. Then it hits me, She'll never get to see her grandkids and see me walk down the aisle or even graduate high school. I just run on her bed and cry. I turn over and see another note. I roll my eyes before opening it and reading it. Yep she was definitely Bi-Polar. She's apologizing in this note and saying she loves me. She's apologizing for disowning me along with Kendall. She's apologizing for things she did to us when we were little that I don't even remember. Then I find it. I hit the jackpot. She says Grandma kicked her out for being pregnant with Kendall. She says she didn't succeed. She says she didn't have her dream job. So she just settled for interior designing. She says that dad didn't stay with her and it was a miracle that she found him again. She says he stayed with her mostly because they had kids together and he didn't really love her. She says she doesn't know why she kicked us knowing she's been in that position. She says she was disappointed that we turned out just like her. She says she didn't want to see another version of her. She says she hates herself for letting that happen. Then she says she's going to end her life. At this point, I'm dehydrated. I'm out of tears. I have cried so much, the note is soaking wet on the same spot. I get out of her bed and walk downstairs. I want to live here.
