Filled With Pain ©

Fourteen © 2011

Hayden’s P.O.V

I waited outside the dentist wondering if I should do it.

I looked down to my hands to see the cigarette in one hand and the lighter in the other.

I hadn’t had a cigarette in over a month.  All because Rockelle didn’t want me too.

Craving...

I lit it up and put it to my mouth.

Yes...

I was just doing what needed to be done.

“Hmm hmm!” I turned around to see Rockelle.

“Oh shit...this is all a...Illusion.” I stamped it out. She slapped my hand.

“Hayden! This is your life... I told you not to smoke for a reason.” Rockelle said looking upset.

“I’m sorry...I’ll stop.” I smiled at her. “You ready?”

“Yeah, what’d you think?” She grinned at me showing all teeth.

“Beautiful...you’re beautiful.”  I said truthfully.

“Oh, thanks!”She smiled. I leaned forward and kissed her without thinking twice.

I could feel her smiling on my lips. I pushed back.

“So?”

“Taste like smoke.” She said while shivering.

“Taste nice doesn’t it...hmmm...allow me to have one more!”

“NO! Give me the pack.” Rockelle demanded.  I handed it over to her.

“Shit man you’re scary.”  I laughed and we got into my mum’s car.

“Are you sure your mum let you take it? Or did you steal it?” She asked and I laughed.

“I didn’t steal it...just borrowed it.” I stated

“You need to stop that.”

“I will...but right now...I wanna take you out.”  I said while changing the subject.

“CINEMA” She shouted looking like a kid.

“Cinema it is.”

**

We were waiting in line when I got a call.

“Pay for the tickets while I go and take this phone call yeah?” I handed her money and stepped outside. I answered.

“Yo, wagwarn now? What’d did you wastemans do now?” I asked while fiddling with my lighter

“Jays just got himself shot by DFC.” David said. I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You didn’t get my food robbed did you?” I asked with a serious look on my face.

“Uhm about that....”

“YOU PRICKS! That’s what you get for being so fricking bait! That was over a grand. Get me my money.” I was calm.

“Allow it Tempz! You’re the general of TSC.”  David said

“So? I aint got time for this. I’m with my girl init.” I said while kissing my teeth.

“Girl? But I just saw Kadisha.” David said. Confused guy.

“Who said I was talking about her? Come of the phone.” I hung up before walking into the cinema.

“So what are we watching?” I asked while putting my hand around her shoulders.

“You have to wait and see in it!” She rubbed my cheek before handing me my bag of popcorn.

We entered the screen we were meant to be in and took a seat.

“So you aint gonna tell me?” I asked.

“Nope!”

“Fine, how you been then?” I asked.

“I’ve been good actually.” She looked down at her fingers.  I followed her fingers and looked at her bump.

“So you’re pregnant then?” I asked upset

“Well yeah...I guess I am.”  A tear dropped down her face.

“Whats wrong?” I asked.

“I...I don’t want you to judge me. I like you okay...” I smiled.

“You like me yeah?”

“I just said, I did didn’t I?” She snapped.

“Sorry, sorry. I like you too Rockelle.” I kissed her once more.

“No more smoke...good boy. But what about Kadisha?” She asked.

“What about Kadisha? Change the subject man.” I kissed my teeth.

“Ok, I’m sorry. But I don’t really want this...baby.”

“Why’d you get pregnant for then?”

“Do you think I wanted this baby? I thought you’d understand that Hayden.” Rockelle said while shaking her head.

“I do, I do...so you got raped. I understand that...I’ll be here for you though. I’ll help you out with the baby still...” I wasn’t sure if that was a lie, or if that was the truth.

“Really?” She said with a smile

“Really....”

“That’s what Malakai said...”

“I aint Malakai so...”

“I know that...but thanks” She smiled at me and I took her hand and waited for the film to start.  I looked down at her wrist.

“The tattoos gone?”

“Yup! It was a 6 weeks thing.”

“Why’d you get Malakai’s name if you like me?” I asked out of curiosity.

“Cos I love Malakai.” She said while grinning.

“You love Malakai...”

“Yeah.”

“Oh uhm...”

“But I like you Hayden. I would get your name tattooed on me but...I haven’t got money on me.”

“How much is it?”

“Malakai paid for me...I think it was £15 or was it £10...I’m not sure.” She looked confused.

“Come...”

*

“What’d you think?” She asked while showing me her wrist.

“That looks sexy!”

I had paid to get my name tattooed on her wrist. It looked sexy. I wanted to see Malakai’s face when he saw.

I really liked his girl.

But was I willing to ruin our 15 year friendship?