Bad Boy's Curse

34. Giving Up

~Ethen's P.O.V~

I haven't herd from Lexi  in 2 weeks. Of course I have been in the hospital, and physical therapy, but that's not the point. Is she ignoring me?

Duh.

I broke her heart just like I feared, I led her on. I knew I shouldn't have said what I said. But there isn't anything I can change now. Nothing I can do to to make this pain in my gut go away. This empty feeling I have inside.

I keep replaying yesterday over and over in my head. When Cody showed up, what was he gonna tell me? Was it nessary, to hit him? What came over me? Was it the curse? That's no excuse!

I didn't win this fight either. I have a broken leg to prove it. I now have to where an annoying, ichy, big, ugly, stinky boot. I haven't been able to go to school, my mom up and left when the bank finally claimed the house. Without saying goodbye. Not to mention, she never visited me in the hospital. And never brought any of my stuff from the house, so now, it's all the banks.

My bed, my couch, my baby blanket that I charish, etc. I'll never see it again. Thank god for Jesse and Austin. They offered to let me stay at their places, 'they share custody over me,' Is what they said.

Jesse gets me for 1 week, and Austin gets me the other week. We alternate all the time. Sometimes I just wish that I didn't exist, it would solve a lot of problems. My own family doesn't like me, Lexi has these weird episodes where she hates me, then she doesnt, and also I wouldn't have to deal with the pain that I have to carry around everyday. I just want it all to go away. There is only one way that that's possible...

I sat up on the extra bed in the extra room in Jesse's house, and started to look around for something in particular that could end all of my misury.

I grabbed onto the night stand, hoisted me up and I searched in all the drawers,  and cubbards in the bathroom.

When I came up with nothing, I wandered through the empty house, Jesse and his parents left to get some food, and wounded up in the kitchen.

I limped my way to where they keep the knives and grabbed one that I thought would be sharp enough.

I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing a letter to who ever saw it first.

'Jesse,
I have been through alot, and you have always been there for me. You and Austin. I want you to know that I care so much about you guys. We never would have gotten this far if we didn't stick together. But I think that I need to be on my own for, a long time. I hope you have a great life. Live it to the fullest. Mine filled up the day I got into that fight with Cody. Be a writer, be a super model, be anything. Just don't give up. I know this is horrible advise to give someone when I'm the one who's doing the exact opposite I'm telling you to do. Please don't cry for me. You know as well as I do that no one will miss me, so you'll be the only one crying. Tell your parents thanks for taking me in, when I could have just lived on the streets. And most of all, thank you for being my best friend.
P.S, tell Austin to stop hiding who he is. Let him know that I believe that if he sets his mind to it, he can do anything. Tell him to be himself. Not what others want him to be. He needs to know that whatever he is, or wants to be, is the right choice for his future. Tell him to get out of that closet and tell the world who he is.

Ethen.'

I dropped the pen, wiped away stray tears and headed out side to get this over with.

I limped into the road, I looked both ways, no cars. I carefully sat down in one of the lanes and looked around.

I felt more tears build up in my eyes. I was scared, but I can't live with myself. It's too messed up.

I'm not gonna let myself have the sadasfaction of just letting myself die right away. I deserve to suffer for all the things that I did.

I rolled up my sleeves and with shaking hands, I sliced my arm. I winced but didn't make a noise. "For sending a kid into the hospital." I stated one of the horrible things I did to get me here.

I sliced my arm again, "being mean to Lexi."

Every time I sliced my arm, I said an awful thing that I did in the past. Every tear I shed was because of my past. Everything is because of my past.

Beep beep!

Ilooked to my left, there was a mini van parked in the road. A lady in a pantsuit hopped out of the car and ran towards me. "Are you alright?"

"Why did you stop?" I sniffled.

"Because there is a young man in the road. Are you hurt-" she looked at my bleeding arm, "I'm going to take you to the hospital."

"You wernt supposed to stop!" I yelled.

"Please just calm down. Everything is gonna be okay. Just come with me."

She grabbed under my arm and tried to get me up. I moved my arm away from her and yelled some cuss words.

"Please I just want to help." She pleaded.

"Why? When have I done anything worth being saved for?" I cried.

"Everyone has a purpose in the world. I bet you make some people really happy."

I scoffed, "ya right. That's why my girlfriend isn't talking to me, my mom left me, my brother died, and my father is a jerk? Hell of a way of showing it."

"One, language. And Two, you don't know how they feel. When people say something, Inside, they mean something totally different."

"You should have just kept driving."

"And hit you?"

"It would have solved so many problems."

"Well, I'm not that kind of person who just let's people die because they can't stand to feel anymore. I want to help people. Maybe you can be the first person I help. And to start, I'm taking you to the hospital."

"I just got back from there."

"Well, then they won't forget your name." She helped me up into the mini van. "What is you name?"

"Ethen Wolfe." I sighed. "Yours?"

"Casey Miars."

A/N:
Hey guys! I know that it was kinda short compared to my others but I just wanted to write something Interesting.
If you are wondering, which you probably are, Austin is gay. But has been in the closet for some time now. And has been afraid to come out. Ethen is telling him to just don't care what others think. Just be himself. That goes for y'all too. No matter if your straight, gay, etc... just be who you are.
I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes.
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Y'all have wolderfull days and nights.