Overturn ● Emblem3

Twenty-four - Ops

"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

Madison’s POV

I want to believe that people can change for you. I want to believe they try to give you the best they can. I like to think that I was a change for him. I wanted to be that change. I knew how he was before we met. I knew what he used to do; I knew how his life was. I was a fan, I still am, and I knew everything about him before he knew anything about me. I was kinda surprised when I started to realize that he changed his normal habits. Being with girls, sleeping with them, getting high, all those things. I know he used to do that, I mean, he’s a guys right, and he’s famous, he has everything he wants. But that changed. I never said anything to him because I didn’t want to sound like a creep but I thought a lot about it.

Sometimes I stop and just wonder why. Of all the girls, why me? What do I have to be different? I’m just like the others. And he said exactly that to me. As I’m watching him right now I just feel like we started everything all over again. I feel that I got back to the time where I used to see him through the internet and secretly pray at night for the day I would meet him, the time where he didn’t even know that I existed. I feel like I don’t know him anymore. Why is he doing this? Is it because of me?

This smell is disgusting. The smoke, everything in the air right now makes me wanna throw up. His face doesn’t look like mine at all. He didn’t cry like I did. He didn’t shake like I did. He didn’t care like I did. He didn’t love me like I did.

Like I do.

Even though these thoughts are filling up my mind, I can’t say anything to him. The words just don’t come out. And his eyes, they look they’re concerned but I don’t think he’s concerned about me, I think he’s more concerned about the fact that he just drop his joint on the sand because he’s now leaning his head down to it. He suddenly stops and runs his hand through his hair, looking up at me while I’m standing here doing nothing, just holding my bags with both of my hands. Seriously, I must look like an idiot right now. His lips start shaping a smile, the smile that makes me melt. I don’t know why he’s smiling. Can you stop?

He takes one step closer to me and my heart starts racing. I feel my cheeks turning slightly red which forces me to look down at my feet. He’s getting closer and closer to me but I keep my head down, I don’t wanna look at him because I would probably want to kiss him, and hug him and say to him that I want him in my life. But he doesn’t want me in his life, he already found someone new to be with.

One of his fingers finds my chin and lifts it up. His skin touching my skin gives me chills, makes me have goosebumps. I feel my heart beating in every part of my body. Now I’m looking at those familiar eyes, those brown eyes with a slight tint of green. He continues smiling but I continue still. I’m froze, the only thing moving right now are my eyes. They’re moving from his eyes to his lips and from his lips to his eyes. I swear I would give anything to kiss him in this exact same moment.

He gently brushes a stray lock of my brown hair and puts it behind my ear. I can’t stand this anymore. I immediately take one step back making him remove his hand from my face. His smile fades as sees me walking away from him.

“I’m not ready to leave you” he says as he steps closer to me again. I find myself smiling on the inside but I’m not letting it show on the outside. I’m not ready to leave you. Is it true?

I avert my gaze down to my feet again, and my hair moves to the front of my face. Of course, he pulls it back to behind my ear. He’s killing me but I can’t say anything, I can’t talk, I can’t explain what I’m feeling, I-