[CURRENTLY BEING EDITED AUG.2017] The Arts (Mazzi Maz Fanfic) [R/EXPLICIT]

Empty

~~~~~ 2 Weeks Later ~~~~~

Marceline’s P O V

It’s been two weeks since I heard from anybody; except Finn. Jack’s been missing but he calls Finn to let him know that he’s fine. He won’t tell Finn where he is but he states he’s, “trying to find himself” or some shit like that. Lexi & Maz, well I don’t know about them and I’m okay with that. I’ve been receiving threats from someone through text messages. I can tell its Lexi because she states that she’ll get revenge after what I did to her in my flat. I never replied back, the fuck for? Both those fuckers are a waste of my time. Plus, I wouldn’t be surprised if they hit me or something. I don’t even know Maz so he’d probably do such thing and as for Lexi; I’m guessing that bitch is hungry for some payback. 

Finn and I have been growing closer as friends and I’m happy to say that we’re somewhat best friends. Finn and his girlfriend, Audrey, have gotten serious. They are completely in love with each other and I’m happy for them. I must admit, I used to cry when I would see Finn & Audrey together but now, I’m just over it. I’m done with people, with love . . . and done with Maz.

Matthew still tries to prove his love to me from time to time but it’s gotten to the point that he’s scared and worried for me. He can talk all day long and I’ll be there with an expressionless face and not a word to say. I don’t want to talk to him or to anyone. I like being alone, always have and always will.

Matthew tries to feed me, take me out and try to talk to me like before but he just doesn’t understand . . . things change; people change. He still must not understand how much he fucked up my life, and that angers me. Matt will never comprehend the damages he’s caused but he’s willing to ‘fix’ it by being my ‘boyfriend’. I’m just done with him, with Maz . . . with everything.

I distract myself by going to the gym and with art. I box every now and then and I paint almost every day. I have to let all my anger out on something or someone but I decided to do it the ‘legal’ way and hit an actual punching bag. I paint my feelings on an empty canvas. I paint all the stress, anger and awful past on an empty canvas. Everything I pour out, leaves me even emptier inside. I don’t feel much anymore.

I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t fully recovered from everything but I’m getting there. I guess I’m becoming cold and void inside. Nothing makes me happy or excited. Everything bores me, angers me or saddens me; I’m not the same anymore. If someone needs help, I ignore them. If someone wants to talk to me; I ignore them. Everything that happened between me and Maz, ugh; even his name makes me cringe and remember all the terrible things that happened. Anyway, all the shit that I encountered was very traumatizing to me. I’m all gray inside and out and everything I see is gray. Nothing is good anymore; I’m starting to realize that nothing ever was.

 I fell in love with someone who I thought loved me back but sadly didn’t and it ended tragically. Ever since Maz walked out of my life, my health has gone down to shit. My hearing has worsened, I’m losing my vision every damn day and I haven’t laughed or smiled since Maz left. Finn & Audrey are trying their best to make me smile but nothing works. I can only give them a smirk and that’s it. I still dress the same but I don’t feel the same. I’m pretty sure I look like a zombie. I’m pretty sure I receive pity from everybody. I’m pretty sure I’m ‘that girl’ that everyone is trying to avoid because of my attitude. I’m pretty sure I’m broken and I can’t be fixed. I’m just . . . I’m just pretty sure.

Yeah things are going downhill for me but on the ‘plus’ side, Uni starts in a few days. I have everything ready and I think school is best for me right now. It’ll be a good distraction from everything. I’m going to try my best to focus on my education only.