Profanity » J. Brooks

20wenty-2wo

Standing at the front door of Jai's house, I debate whether or not to leave or stay.

I'm left with no choice when the door swings open revealing James.

His eyes widen and he slams the door shut.

Well, thanks for the warm welcome.

Oh well, I guess the decision of whether to commence my plan or not will be even easier.

Act all innocent and sorry, gain their trust, find out some more secrets, reveal them, then walk away like the fabulous bitch I am.

I hear some bickering behind the door, until it opens to reveal Jai with a smile.

"Sorry for the inconvenience. Please come in."

"Is everyone home?" I ask.

He nods looking at me inquisitively.

"I'd like to have a talk to everyone."

He nods, again, calling everyone down to the lounge room.

All the boys look around, uninterested in me and what I'm about to say.

I awkwardly cough and speak up, knowing it's now of never.
"Ok, so, you boys are obviously aware of my recent actions. And I'd like to sincerely apologise. I can honestly say I'm sorry. My behavioural issues have impacted all of you in negative ways. And, I'm not expecting to be best friends straight away. But I really want you guys to know that I'm trying to change and that I'm deeply sorry. We've all made mistakes, me more so than others and reflecting back on it, I realised it was pointless, childish and immature. This apology won't amend all of the broken pieces of our relationships, and I know that. But I really am sorry for breaking your trust and making your life a living hell. I'll miserable living with myself, drowning in guilt if you don't forgive me. So please, find it somewhere inside of you to even faintly forgive me. I know I won't fully be forgiven, but I want you to be able to tolerate me on my behavioural road to recovery and at some stage possibly forgive me."

The boys look at each other, obviously surprised.

I'm surprised one of the boys didn't have an outburst about how unreasonable I'm being and how I can't change.

But instead each of them told me how they can partially forgive me until I have proven to them that I'm worthy of their trust.

I responded to them with how I understood, and was over the moon that they could somehow find it in their hearts to semi forgive me.