Bound By Purpose

The March

2300 Hours

Our small group of soldiers march slowly in silence. Steve leads us at the front. We have two tanks that are lined with wounded, both towards the back of our little brigade. I march, hand in hand, alongside Bucky. With every passing minute it becomes harder to keep myself composed but I'm determined to make it to the end. Whatever it is that's inside me is definitely taking its toll, but it hasn't beaten me yet. It's also getting hard to mask my struggles, which I've been trying so desperately to do so Bucky won't worry. I try to assess my well being with the next few steps and exhale with the belief that I'm not in immediate danger.

0000 Hours

As the new day comes to be the cold starts to get to everyone, well everyone except for me. Bucky pulls his coat tighter to him, but all I can feel is heat. I can feel myself burning up. It gets to a point where I can't stand to be inside my jacket anymore. I try to take care of it calmly by taking the gun off my shoulder and slipping the jacket off. Bucky's surprised by this. "Are you not cold?" He asks, a cloud forming as he exhales.

My voice is surprisingly shaky as I reply, "I don't know I'm just a little warm..." Before I can step away he reaches out a hand and touches my forehead. I know I've been found out. He pulls it away quickly.

"You need to stop. You're burning to the touch. And you've started to struggle with keeping up for the last few miles." Of course he noticed. He always knows.

I open my mouth to argue, "I'm..." but he shuts me down.

"No you are not alright." I stomp my foot and look up at the night sky trying to find a reason to argue. 

"Okay I'm not alright, but I'll be damned before I ride on that tank and a take a place away from an injured man." We're caught in a stalemate staring across at each other. Soldiers continue to walk by, paying no mind to us. They all part in our wake just wanting to get back.

"Alright then," He says leaning back, turning around, and kneeling down. "hop on." He says motioning to his back.

"Um what?" I ask. Sure I felt ill but but he'd been through hell himself today and not just physically but mentally as well.

"Come on then." He says waving me on. "Trust me I can handle it." I reluctantly nod and climb on. I admit that it makes me feel a bit better to be off my feet but I'd never say that outloud. I remain quiet and wrap my arms lightly around him. He stands up with ease and walks at a quick pace.  "You need to know how relieved I was when I walked into camp and saw you sitting there. I might not have looked it but I really was. It was just a long day and I was too tired to really know what was going on." I had barely noticed his behavior at our reunion but I appreciate the conversation. 

"You are the last one who should apologize." I say the guilt starting to fall. "I need to apologize first..." I rest my chin on Bucky's shoulder. Deep down I know I blame myself for what happened to Bucky.

He turns his head and pecks my cheek. "Hey, hey we'll talk about it after we get back and get you better. I just want you to know that I still love you more than anything. You do know that right?" I smile brightly momentarily forgetting all the pain.

"I haven't ever doubted it." I answer sweetly in his ear.

0500 Hours

We're nearing daybreak and frankly I think I'm nearing my limit. I dosed on Bucky's back for an hour or so but the pain in my shoulder became too much. Now I once again am on my feet but this time I'm propped against Bucky. I close my eyes for long stretches trying to keep the pain at bay. We're only about two miles outside base so Steve says. He's still at the front leading us all to the promised land. He stops all of us as we crest the hill. We all have a look as we go down the other side. The sun is starting to illuminate the forest. Even though the land in front of us has been destroyed by the war the natural bones of the rolling hills has not.