Through Thick & Thin

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Tatyana

 

Murlow Appartment Complex 11:41 p.m.

“Mama?” I whispered, my hands shaking, coming into her dark bedroom.

“What you want, huh?” my shoulders fell as my lips parted slightly. I just wanted her to hold me.

“Mama,” I cried. “Mama don’t ha-hate me. I n-need you.” I cried, walking into the room slowly.

“Shut that up and come here.” I could tell she was crying, but I obliged. I climbed into the bed and I don’t think I ever felt my mama hug me this tight. I savor the moment and cry into her ample chest.

“I’m so sorry, Taty. You know your mama loves you? I can’t lose you too, Taty. Please don’t leave me.” I couldn’t believe she was crying. I hadn’t seen her cry since my daddy died. I loved my mama and nothing would change that. I held her tighter and whispered it would be okay. I had to be her rock, even though nobody was mine.

12:47 p.m.

I woke up with my arm around my mama’s waist and my head on her chest. I looked up at her to see she was still sleep. I closed my eyes for a few more minutes, because as much as she told me she loved me and how sorry she was last night, I wasn’t sure how long this love would last.

I separated our bodies and made sure she was tucked in good. I quietly left her room and went to mine to grab my body wash and other hygiene products I needed to start my day. I made sure I was quiet, so mama could get her rest.

Once I was in the bathroom, I stripped down to my birthday suit and looked in the mirror. My sandy brown hair was untamed, looking like an afro puff as a result from getting it wet and letting it air-dry. I smiled and took the wide tooth comb, gently saturated it with water, and began to detangle my curly hair. After wards, I brushed my teeth and inspected them, leaning over the sink so I was closer to the mirror.

My pearly whites were all straight and looking good. I let my eyes travel down to the pooch of my abdomen. I really could lose a good thirty or forty pounds. Yes, I know I have ‘curves’ and that not everyone would be perfect, but a girl’s gotta dream, right?

My titties were plump, yet they slightly sagged. I still thought they were one of my best assets. I palmed them, holding them up. A good C-cup that would soon be a D-cup was what I was working with. My nipples were bigger than what I’d prefer, but they weren’t weird-looking. They were a soft brown color and slightly hardened from the cold air coming through the vents.

Letting my breasts go, I looked at my virgin mound; shaven down until it was almost bare. I chuckled to myself, knowing no one would probably want to visit there until I lost this unnecessary weight. Rolling my eyes of my insecurities, I didn’t even bother to survey my thunder thighs, instead, I start a hollow bath for myself. I didn’t want the shower to wake mama, plus I needed time to grieve alone.

I sat my naked ass on the side of the white tub and poured some bubble bath inside the hot water.

Running my hand through the water, I thought about my brother. Kenu was the best man I’d ever known other than daddy. If God ever blessed me with a man, I wanted him to be like Kenu. Nu treated me like a queen, and I don’t mean romantically.

He would make sure I was looking right, even if he had to borrow his best friend, Jay’s, car to drive me down far ways to shop in the plus size stores. The high-end stores went up to size twelve, and I needed a fourteen.

Kenu always told me I was beautiful the way I was, but if I was insecure, I needed to make a change and not complain over the body I had.

I turned the water off before the tub could get a little over half full, and stepped inside. I let the warm water kiss my body as I cried over my lost brother and daddy—the only men who ever have, and probably ever will, love me.