Fall and Chase (ML, #4)

Kabanata 18

Kabanata 18

Bahala na

Marco's back. And I'm glad he's back.

But what happened yesterday is still haunting me everywhere. His glare, his hand balled into fist, his clenched jaw, or the way Conrad looked at me. I felt guilty even though this is not my entire fault. Pero siguro nga...ako ang may kasalanan. Kung siguro hindi ko nadunggo 'yong base walang eksenang mangyayari. Siguro kung hindi ko napagkamalan na...ano...hindi siya ganon siguro I will never doubt his sexuality! I cringed whenever I remember how I accused him. Grabe! Gusto ko ng iuntog ang sarili ko sa iniisip ko tungkol sa kanya!

"Hey!"

Napakagat ako ng labi nang hawakan ni Marco ang balikat ko.

"Okay ka lang?" he asked. "Something's wrong, girl?"

Mabilis akong umiling. "Wala! Uhm...aalis na ba tayo?" I asked, changing the subject.

Marco's brows raised. "Yes, my girl. Let's go!" Inakay ako ni Marco sa braso ngunit napahinto ako nang lingunin ang hagdan. Hindi ba namin aantayin 'yong nasa taas. Maybe it's the time I can talk to him about what happened? Maybe...I can tell my wrong accusation about him...maybe I can explain...I don't want him to hate me...I just don't want...

"Kung akala mong sasabay 'yan sa 'tin. H'wag na tayong maghintay. Mamumuti lang siguro ang mata natin. Alam mo naman 'yan! Tara na!" ani Marco at humigpit ang hawak sa akin. Kinindatan niya 'ko.

Tumango na lang ako. I breathe a sigh. Patuloy na kaming naglakad hanggang sa makalabas ng mansyon. May naghihintay sa aming Land Cruiser at nakabukas na ang pinto ng kotse. Papasok na sana ako nang may tumawag sa pangalan ko.

"Ate Janella! Ba-bye!" Nilingon ko iyon at nakita ko si Nina na nakaupo sa damuhan na may hawak na sketch pad at lapis. She waved her hand and smiled genuinely. Hindi ko maiwasang ngitian siya. I waved my hand and winked at her. She laughed. Pumasok na ako sa kotse at sumunod si Marco.

"You need to stay away from Conrad, okay? Nalaman ko na kung anong nangyari kagabi. Stay away muna, Janella. Can you do this favor? Can you?" ani Marco nang ayusin ang polo na nagusot sa pagkakaupo namin.

I bit my lip.

But I really need to explain my side...

He's going to hate me or else loathe me forever. Conrad's going to loathe me in his entire life.

"Okay," I lied. I managed to nod at Marco. Sorry but I don't think I can do that. I'm sorry. Ngayong nalaman ko na 'yong sikreto niyang talaga, kung hindi man muli akong nagkakamali, ayoko ng may mangyari pa. "Okay." I repeated the lie I breathed. I'm going to stay near to him. I want to talk to him. I want to know why this is my entire fault, why he hated me so much, or why me? Bakit siya ganito sa akin? And of course, I want to explain myself, too.

"So...let's work our ass off!" Mar giggled.

I manage to smile.

Sorry!

**

Kinakain ko lahat ng iniisip ko kanina noong nasa kotse. I can't come near Conrad. He looked so distant. No one tried to come or talk to him except Newt. He's the best friend though. Pero kahit ganoon wala pa rin siya mood. Wait...kailan ba nasa mood si Conrad? Ngayon, inaayos niya ang kanyang DLSR. Habang kami mga models ay nakaupo sa bench sa kakatapos lang na shoot. The clothes we are wearing has its western design. And we're in Intramuros again.

"Water?" Someone offered me. I look at it.

"Thanks, Newt," ani ko at kinuha ang bottled water.

"How are you?" he asked, concerned. Umupo siya sa tabi ko nang umalis si Aries at Gretel. They are off to rest room I think.

"Okay lang," sagot ko. I am staring at the bottled water. I can't help it. Mahirap ng tumitig kay Newt at sa ngiti niya! "Uhm..." I don't know what to say more so I look at Newt. Napansin kong nakatingin siya kay Conrad...at urgh! Bigla kong naisip 'yong mga sinasabi ko dati tungkol sa kanilang dalawa. Na may something! Urgh! Mali talaga ang iniisip ko tungkol sa kanila.

He's straight! Both of them!

"Cons has his issues," anang Newt. "And these issues are full of shits that we need dealt. Fuck, that bastard," He added and chuckled. My brows furrowed. Saktong lumingon si Newt sa akin at ngumiti. I blink. That's should be illegal. I gulp. "I wish you're okay, princess, now that you know that damn issues. Fuck," he cursed colorfully.

"Thank you," all I could manage to say and look away.

Newt! Never in my life would I say something foreign in my principles! But damn! He's intimidating and handsome all at once right now! I don't know...I should just look away. Maybe these are his ways for the ladies...I mean these stares, smiles, or everything about him. I can feel my heart is pounding!

Hindi namang inaasahang kay Conrad nabaling ang tingin ko. He is still emotionless like always! But I saw those perfect and thick brows raised at me. He has emotions there! So I looked away again! Where should I look? Ilang beses kong sinabi sa sarili ko na kailangan kong makausap si Conrad ngayon pero ano ng nangyari sa plano ko? I can't...I can't even stare! Paano pa kaya kung kausapin ko pa! He's intimidating and I don't know!

Ano ng gagawin ko?

Napakagat ako ng panloob kong pisngi.

I still need to talk and clear myself towards him. I know he hates me so much. But I don't hate him hating me this much! Ugh! Help me! Can someone tell me what to do? Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang bottled water at tumayo.

"Uhm...may kakausapin lang ako," I gulped when I heard myself.

Newt winked at me and suddenly approached Homer and Vivienne.

Okay, I need to breathe first. Okay, calm, Janella. Papalakad na sana ako nang makita si Marco na lumapit kay Conrad. I think, my breathing stopped. Marco's voice echoed in my mind. He said I need to stay away from Conrad for now...but...hindi ako matatahimik nito kung hindi ko masabi itong gusto ko. Pumikit ako at hindi ko alam kung gaano katagal iyon dahil nang imulat ko ang mata ko ay wala na si Conrad sa pwesto niya. Si Marco na lang ang nandoon.

Hala saan naman nagpunta 'yon?

Pinagmasdan ko ang paligid at nakita ko siyang papalakad papalapit sa kanyang Ducati. Kailangan ko ng maabutan siya! Kailangan ko na talaga-but Marco is approaching.

"Hey guys! Ericka called me and I think she'll be with us tomorrow. I'm not sure pa," He chuckled. "Busy pa ang lola niyo," He laughed again. "But I know she'll try her best to be with us!"

Tinignan ko si Conrad at malapit na siyang makarating sa motor niya! Marco dali na!

"And..." Marco looked at me. Hala pinatagal pa! I cringe and gulp. My face said 'yes?' in my reaction but Mar shook his head. "That's all for now. See you tomorrow! Remember what the little lord Conrad said," natatawang sabi ni Marco.

And we all chant the phrase, "The Velez team is punctual."

I heard their laughter but I run faster. I heard Marco or I don't know if it is Newt's voice calling my name but I refused to look. Patuloy ang aking pagtakbo hanggang sa sinigaw ko na ang pangalan niya, "Conrad!"

Nakasakay na siya sa motor niya nang tawagin ko ang pangalan niya. He looked, eyes on me, stares lingering on my face looking for an answer, but I lost the courage to shout his name again.

I heaved a sigh.

Hindi pwedeng umatras pa 'ko. Tumakbo muli ako para makapunta sa pwesto niya. I heard him say something, "What?" He's irritated. I know. He's always irritated. Pero hindi ito ang nagpapigil sa gusto ko. Hahabulin ko palang ang hininga ko ngunit sumakay ako sa likod ng motor niya.

Bahala na!