rants of a shitty teen

possible triggering?? i just need advice.

okay so.... I think it's finally to the point that I should tell Ryan that I self harm. I hate it, and I'd love to avoid that conversation altogether, but it's gotta happen eventually. might as well be sooner than later.

and I mean, I don't think I'm as scared as I used to be of telling him, but I'm still pretty terrified. this could affect our relationship and if he reacts badly it'll probably fuck me up even more so than I already am...

anyways, I'm seeing him again on Friday probably (as long as my parents aren't total assholes again) and I think I'll tell him then, because obviously I wouldn't tell him something like that over the phone.

but how would I say it? just casually bring it up like "oh yeah by the way I totally cut and constantly think about jumping out of a window" like?? I don't think so.

that's why I'm asking you guys for advice. I understand that some of you aren't in a good place and don't wanna help, and I understand that. if this isn't something you wanna put your two cents in on, that's perfectly okay. but I feel like at least one person out there can help me.

what should I say? and how should I bring it up? should I start from the beginning or just show him my arms first? there's so many questions and so many things that could possibly go wrong and I'm so scared guys. I'm terrified.

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TRIGGER OVER

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in other news, I was with Ryan today and it was super fun and we just watched Netflix (no chill I promise) but it was great and yeahhhhh

also I realized earlier that I had algebra homework due tomorrow that's still in my locker, so that's amazing. this must be why I'm failing

I'm gonna sit here and read some stories now but like if any of you have advice for me or need advice, I'm here.

QOTD: current battery percent?

AOTD: 55% I think I'm gonna die whoops

✌🏻️ peace out bitches ✌🏻️