rants of a shitty teen

school again i cri

I've decided that

maybe if I kill myself in school

the teachers will

stop
being
bitches
to
the
students

oh look how poetic I am

more like pathetic oops

because okay so I was struggling to understand a bunch of algebra and chemistry problems and my dads all 'i think you just need to sit down and get help from your teachers' and I immediately went into how I couldn't bc they'd see how bad I really am and I can't have that and also I can't talk to them one on one bc nerves wow

and then my dad said 'I know it's tough but you gotta swallow your pride and get some help for it, it's tough I know and it doesn't come naturally and blah blah blah'

so I went into school this morning with a positive attitude that was quickly shot down

in algebra, we've done four assignments and I haven't turned a single one in bc I have an issue where if something's not complete I can't hand it in therefore this happens

and I walked in this morning and long story short I couldn't work up the nerves to ask my teacher for help and I just told my mom that I didn't talk to her today and now she's pissed but

I went into chemistry later and another long story short, my teacher decided to be a bitch, bitching about my nose ring and how 'it's against the rules' and then when I told her I was struggling with some problems on our worksheet she let out a heavy sigh and slammed my paper back on my desk and then made me grade it anyways

I got 37 out of 80 questions right because of that bitch

and I just, I can't focus long enough on anything to do it right and I don't have a study hour in school and the teachers, for some stupid fucking reason, think that I have enough time in the day to go to hell for practically 9 hours, come home and do chores, make and eat supper, do the dishes, get literally 3-4 hours of homework done and still get enough sleep? like I ran on 3 hours of sleep today, and even though I do that in the summer I don't do stuff during the day. it's not healthy.

it just pisses me off I guess. I hate teachers. I hate school. I kinda hate life in general.

BUT (oh my god I just typed 'nut' really big then snorted and it hurt fuck)

my boyfriend/friend/whatever is on his way home from Oregon finally, so that's great!! we're supposed to be going out this weekend but idk if he has to work or not so

it's also his birthday which I mentioned yesterday but oh well

QOTD: do you dream in color or black and white?

AOTD: I actually have no idea woah. I'd like to think that I dream in color but I'm not really sure. let me test it out in about 6-7 hours and I'll get back to you on that.

✌️ peace out bitches ✌️