The Whole Gay 9 Yards (boyxboy story)

Chapter 15: Guilt

      ~Payne's P.O.V.~

After explaining everything to Cora, while Jaycob had his hand behind my back rubbing in small circles, she and I  were both in tears. She hugged me super tight. "I'm going to kill him, Payne. You don't have to worry about it, I'm going to kill him."

"Not if I get to him first." Jaycob demanded.

"Where the hell were you when it was happening? I thought you were his protector; I thought you loved him. I guess that was all a lie too." Cora started yelling into Jaycob's face.

"Cora, that's enough. Jaycob didn-"

"No she's right, Payne. I shouldn't have left you there with him. I should have known something bad was going to happen I should have stayed. I'm truly sorry."

"Jaycob..." was all I cold say. How could he blame himself. This isn't his fault, this is mine. I should have never gotten with Ryan, I should have listened to what Jaycob had to say first. I'm a horrible person. "It's not your fault, Jaycob. It's mine. I shouldn't have gotten with him. He was walking trouble and I knew that yet I still wanted to be wanted so badly. I should have listened to you first. I'm so sorry." I started sobbing into my hands.

Jaycob wrapped his arm around me pulling me closer to where I was crying against him. "No one blames you for this, Payne. You shouldn't blame yourself because it most definitely isn't your fault."

I looked up at Jaycob, "Can you take me to the store, please?"

"Why?"

"I need to replace some belts." Jaycob just stared at me.

"I'm not going to leave your side for a while, so why not?"

"Thank you." I said, looking at the ground.

"I didn't say I was doing it for free." He said and I looked up to him worried. "It's going to cost you a kiss." I blushed and looked down. He lifted my chin and I closed my eyes. "Payne, I need you to tell me I can. I'm not going to force myself onto you. That's not- Payne?" He must have stopped when he seen tears falling down my eyes.

"What the fuck did you do?" Cora accused. She wrapped her arms around me like a protective momma bear. "Are you stupid? He's not ready to be reminded of what YOU let happen."

"I didn't LET anything happen; I just wasn't here to stop it!" Jaycob yelled back.

"And whose fault is that?" She looked at him with a sassy look.

It got scary silent in the room. I couldn't even hear the words that they threw at each other. I know I shouldn't have let Jaycob's words get to me but I couldn't help it. Jaycob isn't like Ryan, I know that. Still, every thing I see and hear reminds me of that night. I curled up in Cora's arms and started shaking with sobs. I had my eyes closed tight and I couldn't see them staring at me, but I could feel it.

"You stay the fuck away from him, Jaycob Cooler." She spat angrily. I wiggled trying to get out of Cora's arms but she held on like a constrictor. Yet again, another thing to remind me of that night. I started screaming trying to get her arms off of me.

"Get off! Get off! Get off! Get off!"

"Cora, you're hurting him." Her arms were instantly loosened and I shot out of them like a bullet. I ran past her, past him and out the door. I ran down the hall, down the stairs. I just kept running. I don't know where I was going but I ran like I have never ran before. I ran from Cora, I ran from Jaycob, I ran from the memories, I ran from-

I ran into someone; I looked up ready to apologize. "Ryan."

A/N:

 I know it's like super short like the skirts of most high school girls. But I promise the next chapter is going to be like the skirts of girls that go to Catholic high schools.  It will be longer I promise.