The Whole Gay 9 Yards (boyxboy story)

Chapter 9: My Decision

~Payne's P.O.V.~

"I'm not Derrick, Jaycob." I yelled towards Jaycob following him. He turned around and stopped and I almost ran into him. I looked at him and gulped down the lump in my throat. "That was fucking uncalled for your fucking jerk!" I yelled at him. "He's on fucking crutches! He has a broken fucking leg and probably fucking ribs now thanks to that huge foot of yours all because you're fucking jealous?" I stated. His eyes widened and he grabbed my shirt bringing me closer to his face. I'm used to being yelled at and punched and bullied by everyone.

"I didn't punch him because I was jealous! I punched him because he called you a fag! Don't believe me? Go ask your biggest crush, Derrick! He was there. He told Derrick that I was as big of a fag as you and then I punched him because you're not a fag you deserve better than that jerk talking you down for no reason!" No, he's wrong. I don't deserve more. I deserve someone that would talk about me behind my back. It's all I've ever had and I deserve that. He walked off towards the locker room.

What? He thinks I'm worth something? I am worthless. Ryan obviously sees it. He thinks I'm just a fag. Just a huge flaming fag! My own boyfriend! I mean sure we had a fight yesterday but we decided not to break up. He said he "loves" me and it was just a fight. I don't know anymore and Jaycob punched him because of me; because of what he said about me. That is sweet like super sweet! Jaycob likes me. Well in his words he loves me. I think I believe him more than Ryan. I s that bad? Probably But that's okay.

Tears fled from my eyes. I heard the locker room door open and I couldn't look up. Why? Why couldn't I to talk to him? I sniffed and I heard his footsteps stop. Then they got faster and closer to me. He pulled me into a hug. "I'm sorry I said that saying it was uncalled for to yell at you and push you"

I thought about it for a minute and gripped his shirt, "What you said, was it true?" I asked but I wasn't sure which part I was talking about. I could believe one more than the other. To believe I was actually worth something after everything my dad told me to make me think otherwise. I am worthless, I am useless, I deserve to die. My father is right. But I'm not suicidal by no means I just feel like I deserve death more than most people.

"Yes he really said that." Jaycob said

But I shook my head, "Not that. Do you really think I deserve more than that?" I cried and clung to him and his shirt.

He pushed me away slightly to look at my face and he had a shocked expression in his eyes as he cupped my cheek and spoke, "What the hell are you talking about, Payne? Of course I meant it. You deserve to have the world handed to you." No I don't. "You deserve to be treated like a fucking prince." I looked into his eyes and I could tell that he was telling nothing but the truth, he really believed that I was worth all of this. "You deserve everything you desire, Payne. You deserve someone to treat you right." Does he really believe all of this? "And I kno-" I interrupted him with my sexy ass lips. Yeah I know I'm a great kisser I've been told by many people and don't ask me why I'm kissing Derrick Cooler's little brother but I am and if you have something to say about it then kiss my rainbow, gay ass. I kissed him and held his hair and I moved my lips against his, after a minute his lips started to move against mine and then he pulled away shocked. "Payne..."

I blinked and looking at him. "Jaycob..."

"What was that?" He asked still cupping my cheeks looking into my green orbs of eyes.

"Well Jaycob, I believe that's called a kiss." I smirked.

He raised an eyebrow, "Payne, you have a boyfriend."

"Do I? Do I want someone who is just going to talk shit in front of his friends behind my back? Is that a boyfriend?" I asked looking at him seriously.