Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 3: Conflicted

Conflicted

So I did end up bunking my calculus class with Damian.

To be honest I felt insecure about the whole Cap thing and to be brutally honest, even though I didn’t really want to admit it, I bunked calculus because I didn’t want to see Cap, not now and not ever. Okay, so maybe I was being overly dramatic about the whole situation, but I’d never been so hurt by outright rejection in my life.

Damian’s soft hands led me to a bench close to a window that beamed with sunlight. The area was beautiful; as soon as I sat I basked in the sun’s magnificent rays, letting the vigorous pounding of my heart slow down.

Damian looked equally as beautiful, his warm brown eyes gazing into my clover eyes. Silently I wished against my better judgment that it would be Cap’s black diamond eyes I was staring at. Immediately as it came, I shoved the thought out of my head. I refused to think about Cap – refused to let my thoughts drift to his flawless pale skin, dark eyes and mesmerizing lips – an act that hard to do even as he humiliated me just moments ago.

Damian’s hands brushed against my face, his touch letting the fine transparent hairs on my face stand up in alert. My stomach jumped as his lips grazed against mine, my hungry lips parting to allow his tongue to slip into my mouth.

I needed his touch to rebind my fallen confidence. Damian’s hungry mouth reminded me that I was still desirable. His kisses reminded me that I wasn’t suffering from herpes or leprosy.

His hands drifted to the hem of my skirt and caressed my exposed thigh. Immediately, I moaned softly at his tender touch between kisses. My hands drifted under his shirt, brushing over his defined abs and chest.

I leaned down and laid on top of the hardwood bench. Damian leaned with me in unison; his right knee leaned against the bench and his hips thrust against mine. His kisses drifted from my lips, down to my exposed neck. I moaned lightly before an image of Cap bombarded my thoughts, the image of his face so vivid it made me jump.

“Wait, Damian, I can’t,” I said softly, my hands pushing him off of me.

I needed to get away, and now. My heart skipped too many beats to count. As soon as Damian was off of me, I got off of the bench and walked away, turning once to see Damian’s shocked look clearly displayed on his all too perfect face.

I flung open the doors to the girl’s bathroom and looked under all of the stalls. When I was finally sure no one was in it, I locked the latch on the door of one of the stalls and sobbed quietly.

Look at me. I was crying over a boy who I’d known for less than a day. But I couldn’t help it; my mind was racing with conflicting thoughts over both Damian and Cap. It had been the first time I’d ditched Damian in my life and I was doing everything I could to avoid Cap. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, part of me wanted to run away with Cap, while part of me wanted to stay in Damian’s strong, secure and safe arms. Cap was a breath of fresh – not necessarily welcomed – dangerous air, whereas I’d known Damian for most of my life.

I got out my phone and sent a message to Bonnie, stating my whereabouts and that I needed her. I needed someone, and no one was better than Bonnie.

A few short minutes later, Bonnie was in the bathroom and sitting on the counter while she left me to ponder on my conflicted feelings. I didn’t dare to let her know more about Cap than I was ready to.

“Damian is the safe choice. I mean, how much do we know ‘bout Cap anyway? Did you see the way he cringed away from us?” her words said us but I knew she meant me. “And he was missing from calculus. Turns out he’s in that class as well, but when Mrs. Delphi called him out, he was AWOL. I think you should stay away from him.” She said, it turns Cap was trying his best to avoid me too.