Unlovable

.20.

"Who, and why?"

"Just drive," I whispered lowly, dapping my eyes with his french perfume sprayed handkerchief. 

"Lily, I will not ask you this the third time, I will directly hunt the person down without your knowledge," he stopped the car immediately at the side of the street and turned to face me, his deep eyes boring into mine with a new found passion to embrace the hate.

"I don't want you to," I turned to face him with softness and tiredness wearing me down, "When will Lorenzo get better, Adrian?"

He took a deep breath and turned to face the front, placing his hands on the steering wheel again.

"I did not keep the knowledge on that, but why does it matter with whatever incident you faced today?"

"It doesn't," I shook my visage, folding his handkerchief and keeping it carefully on the front place. I had an idea that he was not going to use it but still, it would be kind to return it back out of respect.

"I just want to talk with him and Elena," I mumbled, "I might feel better if I do it," I tilted my head to face him.

"If you want, I can fly you to Italy atter everything is over, Lily," He offered with a blank face, "But that would be unsafe for you. You are aware of what they are into."

I did not reply immediately because he geared up the car again into the main streets and sped it up a little. The fresh breath was something I badly needed after the humiliating episode I faced few moments back.

I got this same kind of feeling when he called me out for prank calling him. I remembered how badly I cried for days, unable to forget the assumptions and allegations he threw at me. However everything he did, it was between both of us. There was no one else hearing those cruel words. I had no one who would judge me after that.

This wasn't the same. My first question was: why the fuck would he even humiliate me at all? He had no right, absolutely no right to walk over my heart and speak whatever he had in his mind about me. It was toxic and I should have understood it before. He always had reasons to defend himself but never his actions or deeds. Today he targetted me in front of his staffs, the doctors, the patients and everyone else. I felt so small and little and it left a strong imprint in my mind.

I took another deep breath, filling up my lungs. No more, Lily. I had my self respect before my love as priorities. If I was not respected well, it was meaningless to stay in some relationship. No values, and it would turn out worse if I did not back off now. I must have known Vincenzo and I would not have worked out ever. He was the richest doctor and I was nobody.

I turned my head to the window, looking at the occasional trees that passed by the car. It was always a pleasure to watch the sight moving outside the vehicle. Something was so peaceful about watching the world move when you are the real one to move. It was a feeling of unrealistic realities that were never true. No matter how fast or slow the trees seem to move past me, or the shrubs and some buildings that smelt like city, it was the reality that they were always in their places. It was us who always moved around.

"I want to hear your mind Lily," Adrian groaned rolling his eyes.

I smiled a little, "I am glad this isn't some twilight shit."

He glanced at me and continued to drive, "since you did not tell me where to drop you, so I found a perfect place."

"Where are you taking-" my question was cut off immediately when his car stopped in front of a shopping mall. I almost let out a humourless chuckle.

"Adrian," I raised my eyes in shock and turned to face him, "You bought me to a mall,for shopping -like seriously?"

He chuckled manly, and ruffled his hair a little, "I had no better place and well, I haven't dealt with a crying lady before. Hell, I haven't even dealt with a girl like this before in my whole life."