Unlovable

.6.

"Be gentle at least."

I kept on walking.

"I said, be gentle with her," the annoying voice of Crystal Demero reached my ear buds to irritate me further than I already was.

"Don't tell me what to do," I warned her with my low voice. No one dared to tell me how I should handle my love. No one dared to tell me what to do with her, except myself and her.

She was in my arms. Lily Evans was right in my arms, and it was unbelievable. She cuddled against my body, like a little child. Like a flower closing its petals to protect itself from harm. I had no idea if she had seen me or not however, the moment she fainted, I did not hesitate to pick her up from this vile place that Crystal Demero had chose to bought her.

"It's not you who is going to deal with her tomorrow morning," she sighed as I carried her to their dorms. She was literally sharing rooms with others. The girl whom I was supposed to gift my own penthouse near Harvard was sharing dormitories. She was having the hell of a time because of the shit I was doing with her. She was drowning her sorrows in bottles after bottles because of the pain I caused her. I, it was whole my harm.

I was not the hero in her story. I was the damn villain.

Muttering curses after curses under my breath and placing Lily delicately on her bed, I almost sighed. Even the mattress was so hard for a normal person to sleep well. She was supposed to be living a better life. She was supposed to be having a luxurious life that I wanted to give her however, here she was, sharing dorms. At least I was glad enough that she was given the room along with a senator's daughter.

Crystal Demero, daughter of Steward Demero, member of the US Senate. I met his family when I went to Washington to have a monthly check on the President. Crystal was friendly and her father informed me that he would be sending her to Harvard, as his wife and he has decided. After knowing Lily's passion about Harvard as well, I took the right opportunity to ask Crystal watch over Lily.

Well, there was another reason behind my whole planning of setting up Crystal. A dangerous reason.

"I am going to deal with her soon," I reminded Crystal, trailing a gentle trail of touches under her jawline. She looked perfect even when she was drunk and unsociable. After all, I pushed her to behave like this. Guilt was eating my heart, knowing that I had caused her uncountable sleepless nights.

"Doctor, I am only helping you because you are father's friend," she retorted, "If Lily comes to know about how I am constantly informing you about her every move, and I was the set informer among all, she is going to hate me."

I ignored her, "Did you settle that other blonde girl along with Lily?"

"Who, Jess?" She rolled her eyes, "She needs one bottle of bear to forget everything completely and doze off."

I sat down at the edge of her bed, looking at her with guilt. Hatred for oneself was running in my cold veins and I hated what I did to her. I broke her completely, and I had known every tear she had shed on my name. Ever since she had left Los Angeles and came to study in her dream university, I had never failed to make her life miserable with my actions. I made her felt unloved, but in true sense, I was an unlovable. I wanted to slap myself but that would encourage my mentality to be filled with rage and destruction.

I smiled softly to myself, remembering how my sweetheart liked calmness and kindness. She was so delicate, yet so strong at the same time. She always told me how she hated rudeness and that is what I shamelessly took advantage off. Knowing that she would discourage people who would be mean, as she called them, I decided to be one in order to separate myself from her and keep her at a safe distance from me.