Unlovable

. 16.

"Stop looking at me." I sent a text in his number, still trying to make a better excuse to Professor Adrian.

He was my professor,  damn. What were you even thinking,  Lily?

We were currently in the middle of a very important lecture. Let me emphasize- we were dealing with the chapter that was going to come for my examinations yet I could not focus.  Not with Professor looking at me with those eyes that screamed judgment at the moment

That day,  Professor Adrian did not say a thing to me while driving me back to my dormitory.  He was silent, and looked focused on the door.  His eyes did not say anything,  neither did his lips. It looked like my little stunt took away his capacity too interact. He looked blank, and it made me feel really out of the place. 

"I, it's like Professor-"

"Don't, " he had interrupted me straight away, "whatever you said  and whatever you tried to pretend is already said and done. Nothing can happen. Let me drive or else I might hit a man or two."

And I obeyed, keeping quiet.

He dropped me home and drove away in a hurry. As if something of great urgency came up on his strong shoulders. I really did not mean to say strong there but I just did.  Nevermind.

After I returned to my dorm that day, I looked around for Crystal,  completely forgetting that our dorms were not same anymore.  I was living with another girl,  whose name I did not bother to ask.  She was never in the room anyways. My eyes shifted to the wound, and my heart pumped at the sight.  I knew what the waitress did was no accident. She intentionally dropped the coffee on me,  because of Adrian sitting next to me. I knew it,  she knew it and Adrian knew it better than anyone so he did not hesitate to pull out his gun like a damn gangstar. Was it cool to carry a gun, I questioned myself? Not really, I guessed.  It was against laws, against legality.

And that moment,  I had a call from him.

No,  not Professor Adrian, but him.

"The number you are trying to reach is unavailable-" I picked up the phone and decided to speak in a robotic voice.  God knows why I was feeling so much sassy today. Was it the effect of my hand burnt, or I was just getting out of my L.A zone.

"Lily," he breathed out my name,  sending shivers down my spine. That mouth... that mouth had said my name so many times,  when we were on bed,  when we were on dates. My heart clenched when I heard him speak to me.

"I intend to meet with you, " he spoke,  clearing his throat. Goodness, why does he have to be so British while speaking. No offense to the British natives but they have Willam Shakespeare in their soul. If a normal person says, I am hungry, these few people like Vincenzo would say 'hunger consumes me'.

"I intend to end this call," I sat at the edge of my bed,  relaxing back a little. 

"Why the fuck are you being so difficult,  Lily?" He cursed out, almost hissing through the phone, "I am trying-"

"Stop there, who are you again? " I snapped back, "Just a world class doctor who helped a poor student like me.  What do you want from me, doctor? "

"Are you fucking out of your mind!?" He screamed, and I could almost feel his hot breath. He literally screamed through the phone and I could hear his frustration. 

"No," I answered back quietly. Mom always taught me,  if one person you were having conversation with seemed to lose their calm and starting to shout, turn quiet and reply as softly as you could. Raising voice does not contribute to wisdom.

"No, Vincenzo," I murmured, "I am not out of my mind.  I was out of my mind when I saw you with the girl I was sharing dorms with.  I was out of my mind when you ignored me for more than a month straight, you even proved it to your employee Jason that I was just a girl you shared a bed with.  Nothing much.  Letting me talk to him when I desperately wanted to talk to you was where I was out of my mind.  I was lost. But trust me hun, I am completely fine now," I wiped off the tear that rolled down my cheek involuntarily, "I am in my mind now,  and I know what I am doing.  I don't want to turn more toxic and play this stupid game."