Unlovable

.22.

VINCENZO

"I have a damn question, Vincenzo."

I looked up at him sharply, "Go on, Jason."

"The fuck is wrong with you?!" He almost shouted, making me sigh immediately, "It's been two days, two fucking days without apologising —"

"Don't start it, Jason —"

"Start it?" He rolled his eyes, "Are you even in your mind right now, doc?"

"I was not stable at day, J," I placed my clenched fist on the glass table in front, "The patient was not stable. My operation for the first time in the history was not fully successful."

"And what's wrong with that, Vincenzo?" He almost screamed, "What's wrong with an unsuccessful operation? You are an human, you cannot be flawless, why don't you accept the fact man?"

"If I accept that fact," I silently looked up at him, "Then sadly, I won't be myself anymore. I won't be doctor Vincenzo Genesis. If today everyone believes that I can bring an almost dead man alive, then it is because I believe in myself. I am the most successful doctor in this whole Country, in this whole continent. Thousands of medical schools runs under my guidance. I own hundreds of Hospitals and more charities working on the betterment of mankind. I look after the president and other world leaders take my advice while dealing with healthcare."

Jason went silent and sighed deeply, staring at me, "Vincenzo, I—"

"When I enter my hospital, I have a different mindset. My only concern is to make sure no one does in any corner due to unavailability of treatment. When I enter the operation theatre, I am not just Vincenzo. I am doctor Genesis, the one who has the capability of giving life to the person laying on the O.T bed. It takes minutes, to hours and sometimes days to make an operation complete. You are staying with a bunch of other doctors, and nurses asking them to hand over scissors and tweezers. One silly mistake and everything, everything is over."

"I completely understand your feelings, doc."

"Joleyn, the little girl I was operating that day, is suffering badly. She made me promise that I would make her alive because her mommy and daddy was crying for her. I couldn't keep my promise for the first time, Jason," I stomped my fist angrily on the table, "She was so little that my hands shook for the first time. I made a mistake and I knew it was irreversible."

"She is doing fine now, Vince," He tried to reassured me, "She will have another operation this weekend and I know you will succeed, like you always do."

"But I couldn't that day," my voice shook as I looked at my friend, "I couldn't succeed that day, I had to watch myself fail as the little girl's life slowly slipped away from my hands."

He nodded his head, agreeing to my emotions.

"And that exact moment, I see Lily walking inside the operation corridor like she is taking some walk in the park. She is so eased, so relaxed and unbothered that this was a fucking Hospital and not any house, or my house. If she would have done it elsewhere with me, I would have zero objections and probably joined hey, but no," I gritted my teeth, in anger and guilt, "she had to do in a serious environment and came running for some emergency? No, no no, she just wanted to hug me."

"She didn't understand the seriousness of the situation you were in," Jason tried to reason.

"I completely agree," I nodded my head, "Of course I agree Jason, "She would not understand and I don't expect her to. But she does know the personal situation we both are in. You know,  I know, Lorenzo and Elena knows the seriousness then why the actual fuck she does not realise that meeting me in a public hospital just like that when there's a potential killer and enemy in lose will be so dangerous for both of us. I care for both of our lives and she does not."