Daughter of the Moose (sequel to 'Married to a Moose')

Chapter 79

A/N just a warning, I'm sure most of you are tired of the sappy heart to heart talks, but the best way to explain why they are in here is because I feel like in the show, no one talks about their feelings. Everything is implied. Personally, it's fun making Sam and Dean vulnerable and show their soft sides, along with Alex's. If you don't like those heart to heart talks, nicely let me know, or suffer and read through it anyways. Haha. I'm adding one in this chapter, so you've been warned.

I had already hugged Alex goodnight and she had already headed off to bed. I was sitting on the couch just thinking. Why was Alex so hard on herself all the time? Why couldn't she see how amazing she was? She needs to know how awesome she is. I got up and went to her room. I knocked on her door.

"Come in." She replied. I opened the door and she was laying in bed on her phone, which was comforting in the fact I didn't wake her. "What's up, Dean?" She asked, confused.

"Can we talk?"

"Uh, sure. What about?"

"Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you so hard on yourself all the time and are so worried about how we will view you and your opinions and feelings? I'm just worried about you. So is Sam."

"What do you mean?" She asked sadly

"You are always so hard on yourself. Like you always apologize for everything even if it's not your fault. And you are so worried about how we will react about everything."

"I don't know, Dean." She said, still looking at the floor.

"Alex, I'm not gonna think anything you say is stupid. I'm here for you, and you know you can talk to me about anything. Look at me." I said as she slowly brought her gaze up to look at me. "I mean it. You can tell me anything." I said gently.

"I know, Dean. I just don't like talking about stuff. I always start crying and it's embarrassing and..."

"Hey." I cut her off. "Crying is nothing to be embarrassed about. You're getting your emotions out and it's a good thing." She nodded

"Ok. So, I guess there's 2 reasons why I'm hard on myself as you say. The first is what I dealt with at school. The second is my dad. At school, no one liked me. I had always thought that I was worthless, I was beat up nearly every day except for one here and there where I could make it out of school before they got to me. I was hurt physically and they yelled so many mean things. No one ever did anything to protect me. I was miserable. I thought that everyone else was perfect, and I'm this stupid weirdo with no friends. I never felt like I mattered until you two came along. I try so hard to make sure I'm a great person, so that's why I'm hard on myself. I feel like I need to push myself to be who I should be."

"Alex, I had no idea it was so rough for you before we showed up. None of those other people are any better than you. In fact, you're better than all of them because you're related to me, and as we all know, I'm awesome." She chuckled with me. "You don't need to push yourself to be great. You already are, Alex. I know I'm guilty of doing it to myself too, but it blows my mind that you can't see how truly awesome you are. You are amazing. If after living with us, you can't see that, then you must be totally blind. Your dad and I would literally die for you if it came to that. And I mean, die, as in not come back at all, if it's what it took to keep you alive. You are too awesome to be feeling bad for yourself and apologizing for everything whether it was your fault or not."

"Thanks, Dean. It's just hard to accept being loved and accepted regardless of what you've done and all your quirks and flaws when you've been rejected your whole life. And you do know this goes both ways though. You are awesome too. I'd die for you or my dad in a heartbeat."