Daughter of the Moose (sequel to 'Married to a Moose')

Chapter 41

I walked into my dad's room and shut the door as quietly as I could behind me. He sat up.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, it's ok. Come here." I sat cross-legged next to him on the bed.

"How are you and Dean, first off?"

"We are fine now. Everything is back to normal."

"Good."

"What's your second thing?"

"Do you feel comfortable talking to me and coming to me with stuff?"

"Yeah, of course dad. Why would you think I don't?"

"Because you and I never really talk about anything. We've only talked about your mom a little and all we've done is yell at eachother all the other times. You go to Dean with everything and not me. It just sucks because I'm your dad, yet you talk to him more than me."

"I'm sorry. The only reason I started talking to Dean about stuff was because.... I don't know how to explain it."

"Can you try? I just want to know."

"Umm, he was the first person I trusted ok? He didn't tell anyone that he saw me eavesdropping and was the reason I found out you wanted me and didn't get caught. It showed me I could trust him. He offered to listen many times, and so I took him up on his offer."

"You don't trust me Alex?"

"I didn't say that. He was just the first person I ever had in my life that I could talk to. I never really had friends and my other parents weren't really there for me. I wanted to be able to go to you with stuff and have you be able to talk to me, and I started to try to do that when we went out for dinner, but then you flipped out and told Dean on me."

"I'm sorry Alex. It's just that I'm trying my best to be a good father to you, and a good brother to Dean, but I feel like Dean is doing a better job with you than me, and I feel like I'm failing."

"You are an amazing father, and Dean is the luckiest brother in the world because he has you. Why didn't you tell me sooner this was bothering you? If you want, I'll only come to you with stuff from now on."

"I didn't want you to think I was mean. And, I don't want you to stop going to him with stuff, but I want to be able to talk to you and help you with stuff too. I just don't want him fathering you since that is my job."

"I'll come to you more ok? I love you Dad."

"I love you too sweetie."

"Oh, and I don't care if I'm your daughter, you can come to me with anything. I'm always willing to listen just like in the car a few days ago."

"Thanks, and speaking of the car and everything, I hope you know that me talking about Jess doesn't mean I didn't love your mom. Your mom knew about Jess and everything, and I loved your mom to death."

"I know. I knew exactly what you meant about all of that." I said, and he nodded.

He and I went to sleep. I didn't sleep restfully though. I had a vivid dream.... Dean was punching someone just like when he was punching my dad, but I saw their face. It was mine. I was watching my lifeless body be punched by Dean. I helplessly screamed for Dean to stop and for my dad to magically appear, but nothing happened. Suddenly, everything was fading from view and I woke up, frightened. My dad was sitting next to me, shaking me frantically.

"Hey, hey, honey, are you ok?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just go back to bed." He gave me a look with those puppy dog eyes. "Alright, I was having a nightmare."

"I could tell that. What was it about?"

"Dean beating you up, except this time, it was me being beat up. I screamed for Dean to stop and I screamed for you, but nothing happened. I was dead and being punched still." I said, starting to shake in fear. He wrapped his arm around me, and tried to calm me down.

"Shh shh, it's ok. I'm here. It's ok. You're safe." I continued to shake. I leaned into his shoulder and cried. He laid back a little, and propped himself up against the wall, but soon, even that made him uncomfortable. I had stopped shaking a little, but I was still upset. "Alex, lets move up to the bed. I'm not gonna make you sleep back on the floor again, I just want to make this easier and more comfortable for both of us." I nodded.

He climbed into bed and scooted over a little. He propped himself up. I still leaned into his shoulder. He was being such a great dad.

"Alex, I know it was scary, and I think I know why you are feeling that way and had that dream, but just remember what you told me. My dreams don't define me. Your dreams don't define you either. Your dream may have been vivid and horrible, but it was all fake. You are safe here. As your father, I am here to protect you. It's gonna be ok."

"I know it was just a dream, but it... It... Was so realistic. It was so horrible. I watched myself die because of Dean. I'm just scared."

"I know. I know. Just try to sleep. I'm not gonna let go of you and I'm not gonna leave. You're gonna stay right here. It's gonna be ok." He gave me a fatherly kiss on the forehead, and I soon fell back asleep.