please don't demonize me
please don't look at me differently
please don't use this against me
please don't call me crazy
i live with it
all by myself
no one else can feel it
maybe relate
but to feel like me
i wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy
to be seen as the thing you hate
to demonize me
to be cruel to me
to use my pleading words against me
please don't
please
it hurts enough in my head
telling you hurts me
seeing the smile on your face
drop into a look of fear
scared you're going to lose me
but i can't promise you that you won't
i apologize for saying i feel this way
if i could change it i would
i would kill it
so i could give you the best version of myself
i'm showing you the pieces i hid
in the moments you talk about me
you talk about what i said
what i did
how i felt
and you say it was disgust
like rotten fruit in your mouth
chewing it
spitting it out
then the pit of reality hits
how you see me
now i'm bleeding
i'm scared of this reaction
so i'll pretend to be open
but i'll close you off
i cant take it when you demonize me
i cant take it when you call me crazy
and i especially can't take it when you leave because my problems become too much
so i'll be the one to leave first
and you're be the one to hate me
to use every reason i gave you
you'll hate me
and then i'll wish i never said anything
i'll hold it all in next time
maybe then my image will change
maybe i can hide the pieces again
maybe i can rewind the time
YOU ARE READING
take it how you want it
Poetrythis is a series of poems i have written about past and current events. everyone handles emotions differently, here is how i handle mine
