Life of Me

chapter 7

Ismahan

I awake with a gasp, pushing myself up from the warm covers. My hand flies to my chest and with every sharp, shaky breath I take, my chest pain increases alot more. I'm hyperventilating. My breathing is out of control. And i begin to panic.

My throat suddenly blocks off the oxygen from getting into my lungs, and I struggle to inhale a deep breath. My eyes begins to tear as my pain doesn't receive me or is going to decrease anytime soon.

Panic attack.

One in the morning. Totally absurd.

My legs wobble the moment I get off my bed. My back presses into the wall as I slide down desperate gasping for air. My head nods continuously and I bring my knees to my chest. Wrapping my arms around my legs in comfort.

Breathe...

Slowly...

Deeply...

In...

Out...

I let out a desperate cry.

Hamza...

Hamza...

Hamza...

"A-allah!" I cry out choking on a breath.

"Ya rabb!" My chest tightens more.

Hamza...

Hamza...

Hamza...

My head continuously screams out Hamza. My hand reached my phone. With shaky hands, I call to him.

Ringing...

My eyes blurs as I look at the screen.

"Isma?" A raspy, hoarse voice is heard throughout the dark and silent room. The only sound is the desperate cries of mine, my choking on my broken breaths and my hands shaky, my feet endlessly tapping to the ground.

I woke him up.

"H-ham- Hamza..." I cry, this time louder.

Allah! Help me please!

"Isma? What's wrong?"

He's concerned.

"I-i-..." My phone falls out my hands due to shaking. However, I leave it abandoned on the floor.

"Sh sh sh..." He soothes, breaking off my broken words.

"Sh.... Breathe...." He takes control gently.

"In..." I hear him take a deep breath.

I follow him as he instructs.

"Its okay, it's okay. Listen to me." I do.

"Out." He breathes out.

"In..." My head is only clouded by hamza's voice. Nothing and no one else, just him. Hamza Zain. He's voice is gentle. Soft. Yet deep, raspy and manly.

"Out."

This goes on for minutes, but he's patient. With me. Yet, I still follow him as he helps me through my break down and panic attack. He takes his time guiding me to overcome my break down, like he is experienced. My lips slightly curves up.

"There we go." He praises as he notices my breathing regains back to normal. "You're okay, you're okay." He chants softly.

I nod even though he cannot see me. "Y-yeah..." I trail , whispering.

"Speak to me, Isma." He attempts to whisper. "What's wrong?" The concern never leaves him, but he is patient. And i think that's what I really love about him.

LOVE?

LOVE?

LOVE?

"I-i-..."

"It's okay, you can tell me anything. You know that, Isma." He soothes softly. I believe him an instant. Guilt takes over me within a second, knowing that I woke him up in the middle of the night.

"Maaf-"

"You don't have to apologize to me, Isma. You needed someone and I'm more than happy to help you. No matter the time or place. Okay?"

My eyes blurs. Why am I so sensitive?

"Sh-shukran..." I whisper, my head resting back against the wall.

"Speak to me." He pleads. "I'm right here."

Like that, I break.

"I'm not okay."

"I hear you, princess. I hear you."

"I k-know..." Silence.

"I'm on my way." He blurts.

"What-" I confused, but I already hear the door close on the call.

"Stay on the call with me. I'm coming to you."

My heart races. Pounding fast. Feeling like it's about to explode.

Allah! What's happening with me?

Why is my heart beating this fast?

Why?

~R