Chapter 13

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After spending the whole day hiding at home after running out of Seth's house I finally decide to go to my shop and start baking to get my head in order I feel like shit and it's killing me that these thoughts of us last night keep playing in my head. I shower and get dressed and then make my lunch and I'm on my way to my shop when I get there I unlock the door and drop all my stuff in the back and start baking I don't even realize the time Is flying because all I'm trying to do is pour all my emotions into it and try to forget everything.

I come back out and I see a very angry Kate

"Bitch where the fuck have you been I've been calling you since last night the fuck you had me worried" Kate yells

"Kate how did you get in I didn't even hear you come in?" I say

"No duh with the way you're pounding that dough and I have a key what's going on with you" she ask

"I had a crazy night I can't even get the words out" I say still hitting the dough

"Okay how about you come sit down and talk to me the dough will be fine and I can see from here you have plenty of baked good in the oven" she says holding out her hand and we both go sit down

And I just melt my face into my hands and sigh I don't want to talk about this my stupid brain not working

"Okay so clearly it's something big you look miserable but I feel like there's something different so tell me I'm your best friend what could have you like this in 24 hours" Kate says

"The party went great and I helped Seth clean up because his place was messy and I didn't want to be rude and next thing I knew it was 3am and he said I should stay over it was too late and he was right" I say

"Okay that's sweet I don't see any issue oh my gosh did you hear him hook up with someone? Another guy?" she ask

"No I went to shower and I didn't bring clothes because I wasn't expecting to stay over so I had to go ask him for a shirt and I did we were fine and then we'll Seth said he wanted me we kissed and then we had sex." I say really quickly in a low voice

"No fucking way bitch you had sex with Seth then I'm fucking confused why are you moping around. Was he not good? Because girl you slept with Famous fashion designer, whose loaded your best friend and idolizes you so unless the dick wasn't good I'm not seeing the issue" Kate says

"It was better then good he rocked my world god I can't forget about it the problem is he's gay and in love with Decker oh and to make things worked while I was in the bathroom Decker came in and things led to another and he ate me out. God do you hear me I'm a horrible person" I say

"I mean that sounds like a great time and you aren't horrible girl you both wanted to two consenting adults so you weren't forcing him to have sex with you and neither did you do that to Decker the question is did you enjoy it" Kate says

"It was consenting I couldn't say no the first time and I would've never rejected the other times until the morning when I officially woke up out of the sex comatose and realized I was just used" I say

"Girl how many times did yall fuck? and what the fuck did you do in the morning don't tell me you fucked it up with your stupid ass thoughts" Kate says

"4 times.... four great times honestly speaking and I just came to my senses Kate he's in love with Decker I asked again and he didn't deny what happened between me and him was a moment of weakness and we both just fell into it" I say

"Beth I know you like the back of your hand, did Seth say you were a hit it and quit it or hint at it?" Kate asks

"No... He said he cares for me and that he feels something and we should see what it is because clearly fucking four times means something and I'm just trying to be destructive" I say

"I mean Beth I completely agree with him you are not even trying to hear the man out I understand the circumstances aren't perfect but there is something there and I bet you he's texted and called and you've just forward it to voicemail right?" She reprimands

"Yes I've ignored him but it's hard Kate I know where his heart lies but I have feelings for him too I don't want to fight for affection or attention and I'm always honest there was something with Decker I'm literally loosing my mind but in my heart I know they belong together so why insert myself" I say


"Its confusing I mean good relationships sometimes are but shutting door because you think Seth will be like all the past is stupid he's very much different and you've known him for years" kate says

"I just want to crawl into a whole and sleep until I can't no more I'm so lost" I say

"Well you're gonna have to forget about that look" kate whispers and I look up and see Decker and Seth and Seth looks horrible with bags under his eyes while Decker has full grin on his face

"Hello Beth we've been looking for you!" Decker says

"Good to see your safe after running out on me! With no exchanged words, no text, complete silence Beth" Seth says

I look away and turn to "Kate you didn't lock the door why!!! I feel like running" I whisper and she grips me

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