Dare To Love

Chapter 12

I open my eyes due to the sunlight and lift my body and look and all my memories come flooding back

If I thought last night was bad after me and Seth having sex that first night he woke me up multiple times during the night for more rounds which each time was amazing we both were insatiable the amounts of positions and let's just say Seth was very eager to learn but now I'm sitting here because I feel like shit because I know I was just something to try I know where his heart lies which is with Decker. I stop thinking and get up and try to gather my clothes off his floor praying I can without waking him up but it stops when I turn to put my bra on and I see Seth looking directly at me

"Why are you out of bed Beth and putting your clothes on?" Seth ask with a sad look on his face

"This was a mistake Seth a grave one I can't believe we did this I'm so stupid" I say

"Why would you call yourself stupid lasf night was amazing I mean it clearly means something right it's not just me" he pleads

"Seth you are in love with Decker you said it yourself and you are gay I'm just something that happened and that hurts you know I feel like a cheap toy something you spent a few hours with and it's over" I say

"Beth okay yes I'm gay and yes I love Decker but it doesn't mean I don't love you or that last night meant nothing to me" he says

"Please stop Seth dont sugar coat anything you love me as your best friend not as you love Decker actual emotions relationship type feelings" I say

"Beth you are putting things iny mouth that I have never said I know you are freaking out but what do you want me to do lie to you yes I'm gay maybe but we made love 4 times throughout the night it would've been more if you didn't do this" Seth says

"Last night was a fluke I don't know but have you ever had sex with another woman or even liked one Seth give me a time" I say

"It doesn't fucking matter Beth that's not going to make what we did last night go away or the feelings" he says

"Answer the question that all I want from you Seth or I walk" I say

"No you are the first Beth but you can't just walk away Beth this is something whether you want to play stupid or not" he says

"There listen to what you said playing stupid is that I let last night happened after all I onow and feel I just fucked myself over you aren't into women and this would never be anything but a waste we need space Seth were confused" I say

"Bethy please listen to me I'm not lying I care for you last night was amazing I want more please you just got into my life don't leave if you want I can try my best to turn off my feelings for you it'll be hard but I will if it's between you walking out completely please" he pleads

"I gotta go bye Seth great party last night" she says

"You sure because to me all your doing is walking out on what we both know was the best part of last night" he says pulling my hand to look back at him

"Just let me go please I'll fix myself and we'll be friends again I promise" I say

"You don't have to fix anything let's explore this I want something Beth it may sound crazy but I see us I see why you don't work out with others because there's something here just open your eyes" he says

"Just stop shut up please and let it go this isn't disney fantasy or a romance book this is real my life my life that you are playing with Seth it's not cool goodbye" I say walking out leaving the door open and I hear his last words

"And your playing with mine I guess I don't matter or my honesty" he says and I can hear him crying and it guts my insides

Seth POV

I sit crying on my bed because last night was really life changing for me and I thought Beth and I were on the same page but she won't even take my word when I've never been a liar and now I sit here because I lost a best friend and someone that I swear last night was meant to be with me

She doesn't understand it wasn't just the sex it was how easy we communicated, the laughs we shared something I've never had a high I've never come close to well accept with Decker god what wrong with me I'm going to lose both of them my phone rings and I see it's Decker and I pick up stupidly

"Hey party man what's up?" Decker says while I just break down and cry I need comfort

"Whoa, whoa Seth give me two minutes I'm almost there hold up I'm coming" he says making me feel a little better and I get up to open the door and he runs and in gives me a hug and I just cry out of anger and being upset and he walks me to the couch and I just cover my eyes with my head

"Whats going on Seth tell me I'm here let it out" Decker says

"I fucked up Decker I thought it was good but she doesn't believe me and wants to end our friendship she won't believe" I say

"Okay I gather we're talking about Beth but what did you do you'd never hurt her man I know that" Decker says

"Last night Beth slept over and she came to my room for a shirt and I couldn't fight it anymore Decker the things I feel when I look at her, when she's around and we slept together" I say

"You had sex with a woman with Beth okay once I mean you two have a very good friendship it happens sometimes we experiment maybe it was you guys time" he says

"She isn't a fucking experiment Decker! we slept together four times throughout the night and I would've loved to continue but she left, I have feelings brewing for her she's making think twice on everything and wants space I don't know what to fucking do" I say

"So you want her I'm sure she's just feels like it's hard to believe you've known and literally for years and you know said cute guys it's difficult but it's Beth she won't walk away from you" Decker says

"I also told her I'm in love with you so she feels like I am toying with her feelings and  trying to use her for you since you aren't giving me anything and I'm the biggest asshole in the planet so I'm losing everyone" I say

"No you are not and you aren't wasting your times or feelings on either of us I'm going to fix this you deserve happiness and I know the key to that go shower I got this" hé says and kisses my lips