Loving Anna

Anna-Chapter 10

The door closed after her and I saw her rush up the stairs and disappear from my view. I needed to go after her but for some reason I just couldn't will my legs to work. Eventually I stopped feeling so numb and the pain in my chest went away. I stood up knowing I probably wouldn't find her but I knew one place to at least check...the gym bathroom we first kissed in either that or the locker room. One of those places. I hope. I rushed into the locker room to find Lyssa sitting on one of the farthest corners. It was supposed to be locked but she must have taken the key from Coach Blake. Her head was in her hands and she slowly looked up. Realizing it was me she tried to get up and walk away again but I put my hands up. "I just came here to talk please Lyssa." "You said quite enough over text last night she fired back." "I just...I didn't mean to hurt you Lyssa." "You didn't An-nuh" she said mockingly. I sighed frustrated "would you please jut listen." she shook her head "I was ready to listen last night!" "Well I didn't have answers last night!" I yelled back at her. We both stood there in stunned silence waiting for the other to talk. I looked and the ground and said "I was just upset last night a lot has been going on I didn't want to talk then but I realized that I...I need to talk to you...even if we decide this doesn't work-" "what doesn't work the one "thing" we had which was barely even something." She interrupted. "Lyssa it was something you know it and that's why you haven't left this goddamn bathroom." I said. "You know I was going to break up with him...before you texted me...besides I think he's basically dating Jo-I mean this other girl." She was trying not to give up any of her feelings to me. I get it and I obviously deserve it. "Why?" I said quietly. "What?" "I said why. Why are you breaking up with him." I said. "Because I don't want to be with him were you not listening?" "No I was...but I thought." "Thought what?" "I thought you only kissed me to make him jealous or something like that I mean your a senior, I'm a freshmen besides we barely know each other." She stood quiet for a moment whole trying to figure out what to say next. "I didn't kiss you to make him jealous...hell Anna I didn't even tell him why would you think that about me..." "Because I don't know you!" I yelled. We were both standing at this point like it was some sort of face off. She was pretty stunned with that response but it was true...she knew it was true both of us knew nothing about each other. "I know...your right we don't know each other but please Anna...please tell me you felt the same spark...the same passion that I did. I know we have chemistry I just need to hear it from you." I shook my head "I don't know what we have Lyssa you haven't broken up with your boyfriend yet." I pointed out. She shoved her phone into my hands. "You want me to break up with him so bad fine! You text him yourself and tell him. But that means admitting you felt something and I know you don't wanna fucking do that Anna. You've made that painfully obvious." She yelled out at me. I stared down at her phone in my hands "So if  I don't break up with your boyfriend that makes us nothing." "We already were nothing." She spat. The venom in her voice stung me. "I'm not breaking up with him for you." I said. She scoffed. "Okay fine you want me to break up with him? I will but for fucks sake what are we going to be Lyssa. If I do this what are we going to be?! You wouldn't want to be public with me I know it!" I exclaimed. "You don't know everything Anna I could have wanted that but I don't anymore." She yelled. "Yes you do! I can tell my the heart break you had on your face on those benches. You care! Stop denying that you care!" I yelled back. "I don't know how much more I can give to someone where they give me nothing in return Anna. I don't want another Justin in my life I can't handle that." "I am not Justin you can not compare me that piece of shit." I said sadness now filled my voice "Just tell me what you want from me Lyssa I don't know what to do anymore." Her eyes were filled with tears as she glared at me "Nothing you can't do anything anymore" she said. "Lyssa-" "Just stop Anna." Lyssa interrupted. "What is your problem." I cried out "You!! Anna it's you. You won't tell me how you feel yet want us to quote-on-quote talk it out. How is it fair if I'm the only one doing the talking." She was right. I hadn't told her a single thing and yet I knew all her emotions. Not even just the ones she told me. It was all etched into her skin. She grabbed her bag from the floor and tried to push past me out the door. I grabbed her arm to stop her from going. She yanked her arm away and just as she got to the door I yelled "I love you!" She stopped. "I love you Lyssa" I said again "You wanna know how I feel I love you okay? That's why I didn't say it because whatever I said other than that would have been a lie." She slowly she turned around and faced me with an expression I couldn't quite read and said, "I love you Anna."