Loving Anna

Anna-Chapter 4

I heard that coach Blake told her about me. It made me so anxious to see what she would do. But her reaction disappointed me. She didn't do anything...nothing happened other than the occasional glance I got from her. Maybe I wished she would be in love with me at that moment too...but she wasn't. And that hurt more than rejection. I wished she would just reject stop me from suffering. But here I was trudging on like nothing had ever happened. I couldn't deny feelings who could deny their feelings! Maybe she could but I highly doubted it. I lost all the hope I had. She could never date me. I saw her leave the school with her boyfriend just 2 days prior. That stung but until now I was never ready to give up on Lyssa. I didn't understand why she was toying with my emotions like this. This had happened to many times for me to be okay with it. I was so done. So done being in love with girls who didn't love me back. So done with all the bullshit drama that these girls brought. With Lyssa there would be ten times the drama. So why couldn't I let her go. Why couldn't I just stop feeling this way about her. I couldn't even bare to change my Lock Screen. I needed some part of her in my life even if I had to stare at my phone all day to do it! Going to gym was the worst part. I would see her walking...lonely. She was always so lonely she barely had anyone and it made me question her pictures on Instagram. Were none of those girls her friends? Maybe they didn't live here? Whatever it was I wanted to be her friend. I wanted to know her know anything about her. I knew the feeling was not mutual she was probably horrified that I liked her. She was shocked a little freshmen had the guts to crush on her. She was beautiful not to mention 18. But I didn't care. Maybe she didn't care either. I wasn't going to lose hope for her but that started to be really hard. Until one particular day in gym...Coach Blake was talking to us like we normally did when suddenly he called her over. She pushed her hair behind her ears and trudged over to us smiling at all my friends before meeting my eyes. She stared at me a little longer but turned back to Coach Blake telling him about the new tattoo she got. Coach Blake told her to show us and she lifted her whole shirt up...hope came back to me and I started hoping that she had done that because she wanted me to see. Her whole upper backside was exposed. I made a mental note of the bra she was wearing and put it in my mental folder of Lyssa. It was a big folder to say the least. She actually talked to us used me as an example of someone who uses curse words. I eavesdropped on all their conversations. I wanted to learn so much about this girl that it hurt me to think. I learned she had a friend only one named Avery. I hoped her and Avery were good friends. I wanted my...Lyssa to have friends. Hope came pouring back in.