~ill lies pt.2~

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by LiteratureLunatic

by LiteratureLunatic

Wednesday's POV-

I woke up again, only this time it was in my own bed. My eyes opened to see Enid sitting in a chair next to me.

I jolted upright, remembering what had just happened.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. You're safe." Enid said quickly as she took my hand in hers.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm safe..." I quietly repeated to myself.

We sat there for a moment, in comfortable silence, my hand in hers as she rubbed her thumb along the back of it.

"I've always had them..." I whispered, "the panic attacks I mean."

Enid leaned in closer.

"Most of the time they happen when I'm alone. They happen over practically nothing usually. But when I'm sick, they happen more often..." I began fidgeting with my fingers in Enid's hand.

"I hate being sick. I always feel so..."

"Weak?"

"Yeah... weak... I hate feeling weak. I hate the panic attacks. It feels like I'm totally losing control."

Enid set her other hand on top of my fidgeting hand.

"That's normal loves. Lots of people have panic attacks." She said.

"You mean you aren't mad?"

"Why on earth would I be mad? I'm not mad, I'm just sad." She looked down when she said the last part.

"Why are you sad?" I asked.

She looked back into my eyes.

"I'm sad you lied to me. You said you were fine... if I would have known about your panic attacks I could've helped you. I'm mad at myself for not being there for you. I didn't know what to do."

"I didn't mean to lie to you, I was more so just trying to lie to myself. If I could convince myself I was fine, maybe the panic attack would stop... And don't be mad at yourself, it's my fault for not telling you. How were you supposed to help when you didn't know?"

Enid shrugged.

"I just want to take care of you. I want to protect you with my life, Wednesday. I love you so much and don't want anything to happen to you."

"I love you too, mia cara."

(336 Words)

AUTHOR'S NOTE

heyo, wanted to drop this lil note down here

if you have panic attacks, please know that you are not alone!

there are so many other people who have them too!

stay lovely <3