#twinning

When we got home, Hayes insisted that we go and do something outside. But I was able to say me head hurt, so we shouldn't. but Alex said he'd sit out with me. but then Claire intervened and said she'd sit out, but we'd watch. so we followed Hayes as he went to the garage. but then he brought only Alex into the garage, he forced us all to stay out. but I knocked in the door, and begged to go in. but when he didn't let me, I used my smarts and started to cry for sympathy. and he let me in instantly! And so I sat and watched their conversation. which I didn't understand at all.

Everyone just ended up drawing with chalk on the driveway. So I was able to join in. but trista sat out because she wore a skirt. like usual. But carter sat out with her. and you could tell that trista was in her element. flirt mode.

After we got bored with that Hayes wanted to make a video. so he made a list of things we needed and made Nash go and get them at the store. And while we were waiting Hayes was setting up his stuff. and I was laying on my bed all alone, enjoying the peace and quiet. but I heard a knock at the door after a few minutes. and I was quiet agitated. so I looked over and it was Alex. and I wasn't so mad anymore. I sat up and he came and sat at the foot of my bed. "what's up butternut" I said laughing. and he chuckled slightly. "well I was wondering where you were, I was bored without you. and your brother was giving us worthless facts about setting the equipment up." Alex said. and then it got really quiet after that. we sat like for a while. but then heard my mom crying from downstairs. so I got up and ran down there.
"Hey mom what's wrong?" I asked very concerningly and giving her a hug. "N.n. Nash got into a car crash." She said and I went pale. How could this happen! It seems like things for our family keep getting worse and worse. "and he's in the hospital" my mom said. crap.

Me mom and Hayes went to the hospital, and we had everyone else stay at home and watching skylynn. Claire and her are best friends regardless. my mom could barely drive she was crying so much. so Hayes had to sit up front and help her concentrate, while I called my dad and told him about what happened. but he said he knew because his fiancé works at the hospital.

We all met up at the hospital. and when I saw my dad I ran up to him and have him a hug. he then started crying. I tried to comfort him. We then we're all seated in the waiting area. we waited there for hours! But finally we saw my dad's fiancé, kristy, come out and walk over to us. and she was in tears! "Kristy, tell me what happened?" My dad said. "he. he. he didn't m. m. make it." She said then going right back to sobbing. we all then became a sobbing mess. but we were all able to go back and see him. and when we all walked in and saw his pale body. my mother could not control her crying. I walked up to him and held his cold white hand. he was so white, he looked like a ghost. And I started bawling again. "I'll always be your favorite sibling." I said smiling and chuckling slightly.

My mom was able to control her crying enough to drive home. but hayes, who hasn't cried once sat up front with her helps control her. And when we got home we lugged ourselves inside. Hayes carried me up to my room and set me on my bed. and everyone was sitting in my room silently looking at the ground. but Hayes took skylynn downstairs to help cheer my mom up. but he came right back to me. everyone was trying to comfort me. I was crying into Alex's shoulder and Claire was rubbing my back.

And since Sadie and Hayes were really close, she tried to get him to let his feelings out. but he was not talking. but he came over to me and took over Claire spot. the room was really silent the entire time though.

The next day my stepdad had to literally pull me out of bed. because we had a meeting to plan Nash's service and wake. everyone stayed over that night, and Claire picked my clothes out for me. and she made me take a shower. and to make sure I did so she sat I the bathroom. and the only reason she did that is because she is the only person who knows I cut myself. but once I was done I got dressed and went downstairs.

The next day was the day before the wake and everyone just moped around the house. except for skylynn. because she thought Nash was coming back but he wasn't. And so she was the only reason I got up. and everyone except for Claire and Alex left. they stayed to help us get through our daily life. and so Claire brought a lot of her clothing.

Today is the wake. and it's a little afternoon right now and we are heading over to the funeral home. all of us in our dreaded black clothing. and when we got there I brought Hayes into a back room. "what is wrong with you?" I say "why won't you cry your face is as dry as the Grand Canyon!" I said, and was now clearly screaming. "fine! Because it's all my fault he got into an accident! If I hadn't had him get those things at the store this wouldn't have happened!" He screamed and his eyes were watering and he was full out bawling. I walked over to him and we hugged and he cried into my shoulder. "you weren't the reason he died. nobody ever is." I say in a soothing voice, but my voice was very shakey, and I could feel it.

We were walked by around at the wake and I was getting millions of hugs. I eventually I sat down in a chair in the corner. I played in my phone and looked at Twitter and saw all the hopeful things that were there. I sat there all alone for a while, until Alex came and sat next to me. "what's up cute stuff?" He said and I just chuckled and shook my head. we then sat there in silence. after a while Hayes, Claire, skylynn and Kristy walked towards us. "hey I'm gonna be to go and get some lunch and I'm going too be watching you guys at your moms house. cool?" Kristy said. so I got up and I fell down instantly, so Alex picked me up. and he carried me. "are you okay sweet cheeks?" Kristy said. I nodded my head. "I just haven't eaten anything yet today" I said. we picked up some McDonald's and went back to my house where all the magcon boys were. Hayes ran over to them all excited. but I couldn't help but be the opposite! I smiled and waved then went inside. I took my shoes off and walked upstairs half asleep. I threw myself on my bed. and I was all alone. This is my chance! I thought.

I slid the cold blade across my leg. and it felt so good! It's been to long. I did a couple of slits. I then started to do some on my arm, when the all of a sudden everyone comes through my door.

"WHAT THE HELL BLAKE!" Hayes yelled and he ran toward me. Claire walked slowly and calmy comes toward me and somehow managed to get the blade. and she took the rest of my stash which was laying on my bed. poor choice on my behalf. Hayes then picked me up, being careful of my leg and brought me into the bathroom and Laid me down the counter while Kristy cleaned and put bandages on my cuts.

Today is the funeral, and I was just informed by my mom that I am gonna be to speak. and again today Claire dressed me. But I made sure I was wearing the necklace the Nash bought me. But after she then got dressed we went downstairs to see all of magcon, and all of me and Hayes' friends (and yes we are in the same friend group) and so the place was packed. be we went over and got some poptarts. we are them silently until Alex and Hayes came over to us And started being loud and obnoxious! So I punched Hayes in the stomach. He went pale and I nearly thought he was going to puke!