Chapter One

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have you ever just sit down and wonder what goes through peoples minds when they think of killing, raping, sex tracking? have you ever just wonder what was the reason? 

all this bad things people do, it affects us in many ways. people that they kill are people that have families and people that are looking forward to seeing them when they get back home.

all that thought soon changed when i killed someone today.

he deserved it.

he got what he deserved.

i was about to be robbed, assaulted and taken advantage of. what makes it worse is that people passed the guy trying to take my stuff but no one helped. they all just glanced at us and walked away.

is it because i am black? is it because they think that i should give him my purse because they think we were dating or something?

no, i didn't use a gun or a knife to kill this person. it was pure self-defense and done by a rock. after he tried to go down on me- he pulled me by the purse into an alley that was literally just one foot away- i got scared and started kicking and punching. it seem like whatever was in his head transformed into anger and he smacked me across the face and punched me. he then straddled me to keep me in place and took my bag and throw it some where out of our reach.

"you're mine now, bitch" were his words as he was about to take off my blouse. i was a sobbing mess and i could hardly see properly. everything was going too fast for me to comprehend. 

my hands felt around my surroundings and a stone was in my reach as he peppered kisses on my neck. i grabbed the stone and made a hit to the head. his body collapsed on top of mine for a split second, losing balance and then his brown eyes pierced into mine. a dangerous look swarmed in his eyes and a voice just commanded me to start hitting him and i didn't stop. i didn't stop until his head was smashed into pieces and i could see his skull and all the red blood cells. 

i pushed his body off of mine as i sobbed. i crawled away from the headless man and into the corner. my eyes stayed on the man and it made me cry harder. as someone who was against the killing and someone who just killed someone, this absolutely hurts. its like i swore an oath and then break it. i don't like breaking oaths or promises that were made. it just makes me feel awful, terrible. 

my current situation is that i was sitting beside- not exactly - a dead body, no a dead thing. he doesn't deserves to be called a body nor a person much less a he.

people then have the audacity to question why do i prefer girls over boys. i know that girls can rape someone, too, but the rate is low. it is not impossible but girls are just... there. they understand me better than a man would. i understand them better because we're both females and i can know what's wrong instead of running left and right wondering if something is wrong. i will most likely understan- 

wait, why am i speaking about understanding girls better than i do with men again? 

oh, right. to keep myself distracted. 

i know that i could just get up and walk away but my legs felt weak and i felt weak. this was one of the many situations where i wasn't in power and it was making me feel useless. 

i heard footsteps approaching me and i looked up to find two person standing above me. they were extremely tall and it was obvious that they were females. one of them knelt down to look at me and her face became clear to me.

she has coal black hair and it was put in a messy bun. her eyes were forest green and it just makes her beauty stands out. she has a chiseled jawline and holy mother of fucks- i just creamed my underwear.

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