Sonia sat before her friends on her bed, awaiting their judgements. Joel and Evie had just finished their report. Melissa, Tony and Jake stared at her with disappointment and anger. Melissa had her hand on her mouth, Jake turned away and Tony stared at her, he wanted her to say something, apologize.
Sonia knew what he wanted but she wouldn't dare, she didn't understand why she needed to apologize. Evie and Joel watched the reactions of the room until Sonia said, "If you're not gonna say anything, I'd like to catch a nap."
Nobody said anything and she took it as cue to lie down and put a hand over her eyes.
Tony was the first person to burst. "What the fuck do you mean you're just gonna nap and act like this is nothing? Aren't you afraid what they might actually wanna do? That Maddy could just be lying to you repeatedly to fucking frame or you something?? Do I need to call Rahul and Sam here?"
She serenely replied, "Don't drag my brothers into this. You haven't heard the way she speaks. The way in which she usually speaks to others has a bitchy tone. But from that first day that we talked properly which must've been... Wednesday, she has this softness in her voice. Plus, today she came running to my Math class to apologize to me for yesterday even though it was really nothing. So ...that has to count for something."
"Oh my God... What did she say?" said Jake still facing the wall, fed up with what he saw as pure foolishness.
"She came and said that she really wants me to be a friend and that she finds me interesting," Sonia said with an arm still over her eyes. She smiled, "And she said, I quote, "I want you to be there when I'm telling my secrets to the people I trust and hanging out with the people I love". Isn't that very cute?"
"Didn't she friendzone you yesterday?" asked Evie from the foot of the bed.
"Yup. And?"
"...how do you not see that she could be using you?" said Jake softly.
"Because if she actually wants to, she can't possibly frame me for something that happened at a carnival I wasn't at. I know she said that she's bi-curious, which might be a red flag, but it won't help her frame me. Why? Because if she wants to frame me, we would have had to something physical for me to even harm her. For that she's gonna have to have sex with me but I'm gonna make her wait. I'll force her to try to be romantic and then maybe after a month or two, we'll do it if she's not eager for it. By then if she and the dickhead tries to make up some random evidence showing that I'm guilty, it would be no good at all. The police should find it very sus that the information about me didn't come up earlier.
I just wanna have this crush even if it's all it will ever be." She shifted her right hand for her left.
It was finally Melissa's turn. "Okay, there are so many disappointing plot holes in that but leave that for now. ..From all of them, why Maddy? You could've chosen Lexi or Kat. Like, weren't you the one who always who spoke against the popular kids and her relationship with Nate and said that she was the reason for a lot of people's toxic way of behaving and stuff? Or did you forget all that the second she noticed you?"
"No. I didn't forget any of that and I still side by what I said. But I never said that she was the reason for everyone's toxic behavior. I said that she, along with others unconsciously, participates and maintains the system of oppression which is testified by the commonly accepted toxic behavior." Why do I love her?
Sonia took her hand off her face and stared at her ceiling stars. "I don't know why I... like her. I just- I used to have a big crush on her when we were younger and, well, all of a sudden it... popped back up."
"So this is just fulfilment of a childhood fantasy?" asked Jake, turning around to see if she's for real.
"It's not that, it's- I- ugh. ...There's this way she looks at me. It's like, I'm all of a sudden seen for who I am. I don't know if I should call what I feel towards her 'love' but I haven't felt so a-"
"So we don't see you??" asked Evie.
Her breathing quickened, she sat up facing them and said the words she prayed that she would never have to say to her family. "You see me as a heartless leader! Like I'm some ruler who knows and understands everything! Like I'm not human or a teenager! I'm always here supporting all of you and your adventures with your love lives and I'm always there to be a shoulder to cry on for each of you. But the second I want to love someone and have somebody to call my crush, you criticize me so hard that I can't even breathe.
You can't do that shit to me! I'm not an experienced adult, I'm just an empath with adults around me who have been through some bad shit. You-You all act like I'm perfect. I can just see what path takes me to 'okay' and what doesn't, I've always taken the safer path and for just once I want to take the riskier path. And I'm not saying that I don't want to continue being your friend, all I'm saying is I want you guys to be there for me too! To be my shoulder to cry on when I my heart breaks, to take me on car rides and make jokes to make me feel better. I want you guys to be my best friends, n-not my subjects! I need to experience a proper heartbreak at least once in my life to understand the shit that I need to understand! I can't learn everything from a fucking book or film now, can I?! All of us need to live life and make mistakes."
"Then what are we supposed to do with what we know?" asked Tony looking at his feet, "Just ignore it and be like the others? Make mistakes left and right?"
Sonia settled her view on him and took a few seconds before answering, "...Keep it in mind. Do good whenever you can and it is right, for no person who does good 24/7 is actually good. Have fun and be alive in the moment. When the moment passes, mourn and bathe in the beauty of it all. That's all we can do for now, at least from my perspective."
".....So you really like her?"
"Yeah.."
"...Then invite her for Friday."
"Are you sure?"
Jake said, "Yeah."
Evie sat next to Sonia and hugged her. "I'm sorry. We didn't know that we put that kind of pressure on you."
"It's okay." She hugged her back. "It's my fault for not saying anything."
-------
AN: I hope you liked this chapter! I know it's a bit boring but everything can't always be only about the lovebirds' interactions now, can it? The next few chapters are gonna compensate though, made me blushy writing it.
The next chapter comes Monday! Until then,
XOXO,
Persephone
YOU ARE READING
Maddy and Me
Romance"I really do love you. It didn't start in a good place, I admit, but these feelings I've grown for you are very much real!" said Maddy, crying. "And how am I supposed to know if that's true? This entire thing could just be in my head! Maybe you foun...
