Church Boy

Chapter Twenty: E! True Hollywood Story

"So just to clarify." Justin said clearing his throat. It's been about ten minutes since I said that word. We've just been hugging this entire time, and him laughing at how embarrassed I am. Did I really just say I love you? We've been on one freakin date, and I already dropping the 'L' bomb, or 'H'. Fuck the what. Yeah I'm that weirded out I said it the wrong way. Well technically he said it too. "This is our "I Love You" right?"

"Yeah, it must be." I chuckled nervously. Did I mean it? I'm being so serious right now did I fucking mean it. I don't know if I love him of lo half the v him, I mean, maybe I'm just being an idiotic girl and I do love him. It takes a lot to love someone, and I mean you need to know certain things before you just say I love you to someone. I don't even know his, blood type. When the fuck is his birthday? Does he know my birthday? It's in March right? Oh my god, was this a mistake. I shouldn't have said it huh? I can't take it back, can I?

Maybe he's ready to have sex now. No Britton bad girl, don't take his virginity because he thinks you love him. I do, love him. Wait I don't know, do I? Ugh this is so confusing. No, sex. Damn, I bet he's good at, he's got a nice penis. Well technically it looks disgusting, all penises do. Well I've only seen, one other one. Justin's penis feels nice in my hand, but just looks. What am I talking about? G right the love thing. Not thing like I don't care, because I do. Oh just shut up. What's today? Oh right Saturday. Offer to go to church with him, that'll make him happy, instead of depressing him with haha, just kidding I don't love you. Because I do and I don't. Why can't love be easy? I am so confused.

"It's um getting pretty late, maybe I should-" I attempted to speak but I was cut off by a kiss. Oh, damn those cloudy soft lips. I could kiss him all day long, and only stop to go to the bathroom. I would need to eat or drink. Well I would have rehydrate at some point. I am deeply blessed. I know I hate girlfriends or whatever call their boyfriends or whatever daddy, but serious he is daddy AF. Oh god, he's not even my boyfriend and I'm say I love you.

"Sorry, I needed to do that." He smiled, as he kissed me one more time. He grabbed my hand and smiled. "So what did you want say?"

I hope I don't regret this. "Maybe you could save me a seat tomorrow morning?" I smiled.

"Where am I saving you a, wait do you want to go to church with me?" He asked curiously.

"I mean, I kinda want to be in your life for a long while, so why not try it out. Plus it's been years since I've been and Shepard kinda cool. And it's Christmas in a few days, so it's probably a little more special." I told him, but it all just turned into gibberish in the end. "Will there be food?" I asked, he thought it was a joke, hell no I was serious.

"Oh your serious aren't you?" He laughed. "Yes there will be food..."

Justin's POV

After Britton left, my smile left my face. Do I love Britton? Don't get me wrong, Britton is definitely the girl for me. But do I love her. I've had dreams about having a child with her. Among other dirty ones. But do I love her? Maybe I'm just freaking out and this is what happens when you say I love you for the first time. She's loved before, maybe she knows how this works more. The only people I've said ever said I love you to is my sisters and my mother and aunts and, well you get where I'm going with this.

I want to be with Britton forever if she let me, but I don't think I love her just yet. I can't just say, oh I only said it so you don't feel so embarrassed. Oh, I am horrible.

"Justin, come eat your breakfast?" My mom shouted from the kitchen. Why does she keep making me breakfast? I can make my own pancakes, bacon, and toast. Well except for me burning it, other than that I can definitely make my own food. I grabbed my crutches and made my way to the kitchen. I walked, or hopped, into the kitchen and saw my mother dressed and ready to go.